Thursday, September 3, 2009

How does a little whine sound?

As of today, I have exactly three months until Baby Girl will enter the world. Ah. The beauty of a scheduled C-Section.

I want to write something really sweet about how much we can't wait to meet our new family member. And I also want to write something funny about how the kids try to yell messages to the baby through my belly button and then try to line up their ears directly over the belly button to hear the answer.

But first... I was wondering if you all would like to hear me whine?

I mean, really?? What is more pleasant than hearing a pregnant woman whine continuously about all of her aches and pains? You are dying to hear it, aren't you?

You do have to admit, that the last trimester of pregnancy is filled with some of the most unmentionable bodily malfunctions that women experience in the first to middle half of life. Fortunately, I had forgotten about some of these horrifying aches, or I would have spent at least ten times as much time dreading month #7 as I have up until now.

And the problem is, you really can't just mention in casual conversation that all of the muscles in the lower half of your body feel like they are being pulled apart by a giant torturing device. It's just not socially acceptable.

Even when my midwife asks me how I'm doing, I still smile and tell her everything is perfect.

"You are way easier than... um... most of my patients," she stresses over and over again in such a tone that I wish she would go ahead and add "most of my NORMAL 25-YEAR-OLD patients who aren't old enough to be a GRANDMA, AND IT'S A MIRACLE YOU CAN EVEN GET OUT OF BED!"

So, I was thinking that maybe once a week or so, I could just set aside a time here on the blog when I could write down all that's hurtin' me. And then you readers would know in advance just to skip reading that whole post and go straight to the comments and say something like, "Hope you're feelin' better today."

And then I would believe for a few minutes that someone actually cares that I have to wake up every time I want to flip over in bed because my stomach is so heavy, except that I'm awake anyway to go to the bathroom, and then I would feel better because of all of the sympathy.

Whaddaya think?

(Smile and nod. Smile and nod.)

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Anonymous said...'re not to the "I swear there's a bowling ball in there trying to force its way out" stage, yet?

Jenny-Jenny said...

Sure hope you're feeling better today! ;}

I think you should do it. We were all beginning to think you were perfect, with the perfect body that feels no aches and the perfect mom that succeeds with homeschool and meals and laundry and cleaning AND pregnancy!

everydayMOM said...

Jenny, that's funny! I would be more than happy to whine everyday if it would make you feel better about me. haha.

Anonymous said...

Hey Emily! 3 months is all that's left?? (in 4 months I'll be 40!) How very cool for you! Yes it is great to hear that you need to whine every once in awhile... vent away... I'm sure that we will be entertained by it as well... you have a way with words:)! Plus we can all remember what that part was like... are you guys having the heat?? We are finally getting some summer weather (+33C which is close to 92F... for us that's crazy unheard of in September! So it's great... unless you're 6 months pregnant!) Anyway, it's good to hear you whine - makes you 'normal'!

everydayMOM said...

Laurel, Oh... the weather here has been perfect! Finally summer! It's about 55 degrees in the morning and then the temps rise to around 80 in the afternoon. I LOVE it!! We actually went to the pool this afternoon!

I hope you are planning something fun for your 40th. I highly recommend it!

Anonymous said...

Glad to hear your weather is good... not to hot for your prego state! lol! As for my 40th... not sure... will likely have pics taken with the big numbers (I do that with my kids each year so it kinda fits for me to do it too:)) other than that... will have to see...
Will have to do something special tho!

Anonymous said...

So, I just don't know how to get my computer to subscribe to your blog... I would love to get them all, just in case I don't check in on your site... any suggestions? do I need to have a google account? I am so behind the times... Truly, Emily, I look so forward to reading your blogs... most often I smile, sometimes laugh, and some of them have made my eyes tear up... you have a gift for writing in a way that is so real... I need that right now...

Holly said...

Well, I just happen to be up reading this...30 weeks pregnant with baby #5 at 42 years old and too darn uncomfortable to actually be asleep at yeah, feel free, whine away! Let's not confine it to once a week though. Let's just make it a whinefest straight through til delivery (and then, of course, for at least two weeks after as we recoup from major abdominal surgery AND care for a newborn!).


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