a little help, please?

Dear Swiss Cosmetic Company,

My Reversing Gelee Transforming Lift is not reversing. It's not transforming, and it's not lifting.

However, as far as I can tell, it is a gelee. I'm not totally sure what makes something a gelee, not to be confused with a gel or a jelly. But I would say this is a gelee. So, it's got that going for it, which is nice.

I need a little help here, people. I'm almost 40.

I need some reversing. I need some transforming. I need some lifting. Anyone?

Thank you.