The Opossum's Rebuttal

This strange note was left by our front door around 5:23 this evening. It was scrawled in very messy handwriting:

Oh, I'm not cute like a puppy
I don't cuddle like a kitten
But I still need some love
Even though I might chew your mitten

Did you have to put me out
Just dump me in the cold?
Not even a goodbye
Or some fruit covered in mold?

I heard her pull up in her van
The lady dressed in blue
Ms. Animal Control
The one who brought the cage to you

She carried me outside
Upside down she shook the trap
I tried to hang on tight
But she poked me in the back

I walked to a tree
I sat there for a spell
I couldn't find an apple
An orange or anything with a smell

No Fritos out here
No Cheetos, Ritz or Lays
No Frosted Flakes or Coke
No carrots, cookies or cheese

Please let me back in
I beg you, Mrs. Neal
I'm just a baby opposum
Can I have just one more meal?

It's cold in the lawn
I can't find a sleeping bag
Not a tent or a blanket
Like those cozy ones you had!

I know that I'm ugly
And my teeth are really sharp
But I'll make a great pet
Don't you have a heart?

I won't poop on your toys
I won't pee on your stuff
Just give me one more chance
Life out here is rough!




(Emily with hands held over ears: Lalalalala... It's not working!!!)