Wednesday, September 29, 2010

All that's new

Oh, my dear blog. I never thought I would ignore you like this. For so long, I updated you everyday on the good, the bad and the silliness of my life. I didn't intend to stop. But now, it's like you are a good friend I haven't spoken to in three months.

To pick up again with all of the randomness I have to share, I feel like I first need to update you on where I've been. So, here I go. I'm not sure if you really care or if anyone will actually read this but me. But maybe if I put it all out there, I will be able to go back to the way things were — the random thoughts and more regular updates of what's happening around here.

Let's just put it this way. A lot has happened. And yet, much is the same. How about a list?

1. I spent the summer trying to figure out how I was going to avoid homeschooling again. I looked into lots of options. And in the end, I never felt at peace that any of the alternatives would be better.

2. So, we're homeschooling again. And it's going much better than I imagined it would. I ordered my curriculum one week before school started. That's how badly I was hoping something would drop from the sky telling me to take another path. I quickly pulled up my pants or my bootstrings or whatever... OK, I slipped on my flipflops and decided that if we were going to do this, we were going to enjoy it!

3. We changed a lot of our curriculum, and the kids and I are enjoying school about a million times more. The fact that I'm not pregnant or up every two hours all night long also makes a huge difference. Our day is going so much smoother this year. The kids know what they have to do, and their attitudes have improved a ton this year.

4. This isn't really a list. But numbering the paragraphs seems to be helping me, and maybe it will help you feel like you can go on.

5. So, I got a new job. And yes, it takes a ton of my time. And yes, it's worth every second. I have to say that this is the first time in my adult life that I don't spend every waking minute daydreaming in the back of my mind about what I'm really supposed to be doing with my life. So far at least, my job is such a good fit for what I love to do that it is like a huge creative release for me.

6. When I was working, I loved my job as a journalist. But I always wanted to find a way to also use my passion for "messing around with my computer". I had a mental picture of what that job might look like. But I could never put it into words or actually find such a position in the real world. I'm not a trained graphic designer, but I love to create things visually. I'm not a trained computer programmer, but I love to mess around with web site stuff. I'm not trained in desktop publishing, but I love to pull content together to produce cool documents. I now get to do a little of all of that AND I get to write AND my job description even includes going on FACEBOOK. Seriously. I can't believe I'm a professional Facebooker. It's perfect.

7. And the best part is that I feel like my job has significance beyond this life. I love using my strengths to tell people about our church and ultimately about my faith. You can check out some of what I do on our web site: cometothesanctuary.org.

8. Back in June when I started my new job, I also resigned from being a team leader with Discovery Toys. That was a very bittersweet week for me. It probably seems silly since I had not done a whole lot with my business over the past year. But I had managed to maintain my team at a level at which I was helping other women and I was getting paid.

9. I had devoted seven years of my life to my business with Discovery Toys. I love the great women I have met across the country, the amazing experiences I have had, the incredible trips and the huge personal growth. However, I was convinced that because I am such an all-or-nothing person, I either needed to get serious about it, or let it go. I am so thankful for all of the good things that came to my life because of Discovery Toys. But I also felt a huge weight lifted from my shoulders once I resigned as a team leader.

10. And finally, I have been adjusting to life with four children. Our little one is almost 10 months old, and she is a total hoot. She has added so much to our family. She has the awesome hilarious and determined personality that is necessary for a child born into a family with three older siblings. She is almost ready to walk and tries her best to communicate with loud yells so no one will forget she is bringing up the rear. The kids adore her. And I'm so thankful she is part of us.

I have so much more to say, but I'm at 10. And you know that is the signal that the list must come to an end. Perhaps now, I can drop in a little more often and talk about the day to day.

I've missed all of my bloggy readers so much! I hope you will leave me a comment and tell me what is new with YOU! (Or at least let me know you were here.)

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Sunday, September 5, 2010

Beautiful chaos

"Couldn't this have been a little more organized?"

"These people really need to get their act together."

"I think they could have planned this a little better."

I'm sure I've uttered those phrases dozens of times in my life. OK. Let's face it. Hundreds of times.

I like to plan things. Right down to the smallest detail. I love my to-do lists and my planning lists and my REALLY BIG lists.

And I'll admit it. I would like it if everyone else in the world was just like me. They would have all of the details on a list and a neat little check mark beside each completed task.

But I've been learning a lot during the past three months. As I'm sure you remember, I started working for my church back in June. As part of my job, I have the great privilege to get to be part of some of the planning of our Sunday morning services and other things that happen throughout the week.

And being the highly anal, um... I mean, wonderfully organized person that I am, I would love everything to be neatly planned and perfectly executed.

Then, in walk all the people.

You know the ones. The real people. The ones with real lives. And real jobs. Real kids. Real marriages. Real issues. Real heartaches. Real needs. Real financial problems. Real struggles. Really, really serious struggles.

And one minute after getting everything just exactly the perfect way that it should work beautifully, things get messy. Because sometimes real people don't fit neatly in a tiny little box that is totally organized and wonderfully planned.

Nope.

We are actually doing the things we do for real people. We're not trying to create the most organized, beautiful church in the world. We're trying to reach out to real people and make an impact in their lives.

I'm starting to see disorganization in a new way. It's kind of like the laundry that builds up in my house into huge piles that spill out from every bedroom. Those dirty, stinky clothes are a sign of the people that live here, eat here, cry here, learn here, grow here and love here.

When things are in disarray and falling apart, it just might be a sign that good things are happening. Real people are walking in the door with real problems. And we're willing to drop our agenda, our plan and our wonderful to-do list to try to help. To show them the way to the One who can help.

And that's when chaos becomes a beautiful thing.


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