Oh, what a year!

On this, the last day of 2009, I would love to write something meaningful to celebrate such an eventful year in our lives. Our family celebrated milestones, said good-bye to loved ones, welcomed a new life, faced challenges and made it through big changes.

But I'm a little too sleep-deprived to come up with the words to properly pay tribute to such an amazing year. So, instead, I'm joining other bloggers in wrapping up the year bloggy-style.


Here, I give you, the first line of every post of every month from 2009. I was surprised at how well this really did re-cap the whole year.

JANUARY

True confession. I'm waking up this morning on Jan. 1 with no New Year's Resolution. This is actually often the case with me.

I would learn later that there was a reason I didn't set any goals for 2009. I would find out in a few months that all things "Emily" would be set aside, and I would be called upon to take on some roles I would not have considered on my own.


FEBRUARY

Oh my, oh my... We are having the most incredible vacation in the history of our family. I wanted to give a quick update and share some photos.


The highlight of February was our vacation to Acapulco for the Discovery Toys incentive trip. It was beautiful. It was perfect. It was a trip we won't soon forget. It also was significant for me because this would be the first time in the last five years I made the choice not to set a goal to earn the incentive trip, making our past trip that much more special.

While we were in Mexico, we also lost my Grandma Dot, who had been a very special influence in my life.

MARCH

You might be wondering why I've been writing posts lately about opossums. Then again, maybe it didn't even seem odd to you, which is a really scary thought.


March marked one of my hilarious encounters with wildlife when THE opossum moved into our garage. Oh, what fun I had blogging about that guy. It even brought out the poet in me.

I also kicked off my own 40 Days of 40 countdown to my milestone birthday and unleashed my inner rock star.

APRIL

OK. I think I'm starting to understand. Seriously. It's all starting to make sense.

How could I recap the year without mentioning all of my posts about my favorite TV show, Lost? This was one in which I had reached the height of confusion about what was actually happening last season.

MAY

About five weeks ago, my friend, Julie, invited our family over for a cook-out. Julie is a busy woman, so I really didn't think anything of the fact that we had to make our dinner plans so far in advance.

I celebrated my 40th birthday in April with more celebrations than any one person should be allowed to have for herself. And then my girlfriends topped it all off by surprising me with this one the first weekend in May. I am blessed!

I also got serious in May, blogging about the topics of autism and allergies.

JUNE

Have you ever had a time in your life during which everything seemed to be falling apart?

And then there was June, the month in which I revealed what had really been on my mind the past few months. I was pregnant. We were going to home school. And I started blogging about my advanced maternal age.

JULY

A few days ago, I mentioned that my husband and I were planning to get away for a few days without our kids.

July was the month of vacations. CapableDad and I visited the Smokies without kids. We camped. And we joined four generations of family for a get-away that I wrote about in August.

Oh, and we also found out we were having a GIRL!

AUGUST

We are home from our little get-away with family.


Our high-flying family really got into the swing of things on that trip.

SEPTEMBER

Monday was our first day of school at home! The day went better than I expected...


And then we got down to business in September. We started our journey of doing school at home.

OCTOBER

Despite the fact I woke up at 5 a.m. this morning, I still found myself running around like a crazy woman at 9:15, shouting, "Has ANYONE seen my Hannah Montana wig?!?"


By October, the third trimester of pregnancy was taking a toll on my body... and my brain. In this post, I wrote about how I was starting to go a little crazy trying to keep everything straight.

NOVEMBER

Judging from all of the cards and letters I have been receiving, you all have been dying to know what ever happened to my UNBELIEVABLE Seven Day Meal Plan That Never Changes.

We celebrated a Golden Birthday in November, and our anniversary. But the first post of the month happened to be one about my never-ending quest to answer that age-old question: "What's for dinner?"

DECEMBER

Introducing... The one... the only... the cutie pie, the perfectly sweet baby...
Jayda Grace
7 lbs, 2 ounces
20 inches
Born TUESDAY, Dec. 1 at 8:40 p.m.


Awww... And of course, the highlight of our year happened on Dec. 1 when we welcomed this sweet gift to our family.


I'm a little exhausted just reading about all of the events of 2009. I'm ready for a fresh start and optimistic about all that 2010 will bring.

Happy New Year, everyone!

** Head over to Musings of a Housewife to find out what 2009 was like for other bloggers. **

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allergies, asthma, adhd and autism

Whenever I start talking to someone about my oldest son's severe peanut allergy, the inevitable question always arises: Why do you think so many kids today have allergies? We never heard about allergies when we were growing up.

I have mentioned in my last two posts a book that I am reading, which, for the first time, answers that question in a way that makes sense to me. The book is called Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma, and Allergies by Kenneth Bock.

Bock asserts in the book that the dramatic rise in the incidence of all of these 4-A conditions began at about the same time. He believes that the same factors that contribute to the increase in autism also could be causing the other "A" conditions that are plaguing this generation of children: toxins in the environment, immunizations, weakened immune systems, as well as genetics.

And if the causes are the same, could it be that the cure also is the same? The author definitely believes this is true.

And for the first time, I feel like some of those motherly instincts I have had for the last eight years are validated by an independent source.

I mean, why is it that only one of my three children has allergies?

He not only is allergic to peanuts and nuts, but also to EVERYTHING outdoors: trees, grass, mold, pollen, ragweed, dust mites, cats and dogs. If your child has ever had a prick test on his or her back or arms, just imagine if every single one of those little dots turned into a bright red welt and came back positive.

I also have wondered if all of this goes back to his first day of life outside the womb. The day when I pushed for two hours, but he didn't move an inch down the birth canal. The day when his heart rate started dropping and they rushed me to the emergency room. The day he was born almost blue from lack of oxygen and had an APGAR score of 2. The day they placed him in an oxygen tent and fed him through a tube in his nose.

Now, I'm reading that on THAT day, the first day of life, doctors also give newborn babies their first vaccine. I don't know if that happened to my son. I was out stone cold after the doctor sliced me open before I was fully anesthetized. They had to put me completely under, and I didn't see my newborn baby for about 12 hours.

Before I go on, let me just tell you, that this kid is a delight. He is truly one of the sweetest, most caring, compassionate kids you will meet. He is highly creative and can run like the wind. He is a leader in his class and has a great group of friends.

But I have always suspected that the same forces that are causing his allergies could be causing some of the other struggles he has had throughout his life. When he was little, these played out in the form of constant crying as a baby, followed by uncontrollable tantrums as a toddler.

Then came the fears of swings, slides, bike rides, tunnels, anything at an amusement park. He couldn't handle loud noises. He actually refused to go in our back yard for an entire year because he was afraid of the sound of the neighbor's dog barking. He hated getting his hair cut, new shoes, brushing his teeth and even at 8 years old, he has never put his head underwater. This kind of makes swimming lessons impossible.

Although he is very intelligent in his school subjects, he also has problems understanding certain concepts or figuring things out. We have been on a journey the past few years to determine what is causing this. He has been to therapists, reading specialists, an audiologist, an eye doctor and an occupational therapist, but we still don't have a good answer.

Could it all be related?

Could it be that the author of this book is correct?

He says that whether your child has autism, ADHD, asthma or allergies, the root of the problem lies in what is inside their bodies. Maybe it's a high concentration of metals. Maybe he is eating foods to which he is allergic, and we don't realize it. Perhaps he needs supplements, such as Omega-3 or Amino Acids.

When my son was first tested for allergies five years ago, the initial test showed that he was allergic to wheat and soy. His allergist told me not to worry about those. She said the levels weren't high enough to eliminate them. So, my son lives on a diet of bread, pasta and cereal. But this book also says that kids tend to crave the very food to which they are allergic.

Could we be filling his body with foods that are irritating him from the inside out?

I have a lot more research to do to determine our next step. If anyone has any experience with alternative medicine or holistic doctors, I would love to hear what you have found, both good and bad.

We have been on a journey the past eight years. If it were a marathon, I would say we have made it to the one-mile mark. But I am excited about this new information and where it might lead.

autism and vaccines

After writing my last post about the autism conference where I had a booth this weekend, I wanted to go into a little more detail about what I have learned about the link between autism and childhood immunizations.

The first time I heard anyone mention this link was in the early 90s when I was a reporter for a chain of newspapers. I spent about five years covering state government in the capitol building in Springfield and then later became the Chicago bureau chief, where I also covered state government.

Honestly, this experience made me highly skeptical. That can be both good and bad. I don't take anything at face value. As they say in journalism school, "If your mother tells you she loves you, ask a second source." I tend to over-analyze things, think about them obsessively, research and look for second opinions.

So, I was skeptical when a tiny band of parents and advocates came to Springfield to hold a press conference, asking lawmakers to make changes to the number of vaccines required for young children to enter school.

This small group asserted that immunizations were the direct cause of autism. I also remember the public health department denouncing this claim, as if it had absolutely no basis and was a bit crazy.

The issue continued for several years after that. Studies were released showing no link between vaccines and autism, and it became a national issue.

I don't think I ever developed an opinion one way or another on that issue. I could see both sides. The claims of this group made sense to me. But could it all be coincidence? Regressive autism usually sets in around 18 months of age. That is right when most kids are getting a major round of immunizations.

I didn't think about it much until I had to start taking my own children in for their immunizations. I remember one time in particular when I questioned my doctor about the number of shots she wanted to give my daughter. She became visibly agitated, as if she had just had enough of arguing with Crazy Moms over this issue.

She started raising her voice and gave me papers and reports showing these claims were completely unfounded. We finally reached an agreement that she could give my daughter one shot that day and we would come in later for the others.

At Autism One, there is no debate over the link between vaccines and autism. To those parents, it is a proven fact.

A couple of years ago, my booth was next to that of some young ABA therapists. Their job is to do therapy with children with autism to help them learn to modify their behavior. By the way, this job that was barely even heard of a decade ago is now a hot field and services are much in demand.

These women told me about one of their clients. He was a boy adopted from South America when he was 2 years old. He came to the United States with bright eyes and a playful spirit. Because he had not had any immunizations, he got all of his shots at once. I think he had around 10 vaccinations at one time.

These ladies said that when that boy went home, he immediately sank into the dark hole of autism. The sparkle in his eyes was gone. He no longer made eye contact. He lost his ability to communicate. HE disappeared into the darkness called autism.

I don't know if this story is true. But it sunk into my brain and has stayed there for several years.

When I talk to the parents at Autism One and ask them when their child was diagnosed with autism, every one says that it was right after their big round of immunizations at about 18 months to 2 years.

This year, I decided it was time for me to gain a better understanding of the basics of autism and what these people believe.

I purchased a book called, "Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma and Allergies". I am so fascinated by this book for several reasons, which I hope to write more about this week. You could say that I'm completely obsessed with this book now.

Anyway, the author, Kenneth Bock is a holistic doctor who writes about how he has used a biomedical approach to cure children of autism, ADHD, asthma and allergies.

He also explains the connection between autism and immunizations. I will attempt to explain that here, but if you know more about this, feel free to correct me.

First of all, I learned that there are two forms of autism. Classic autism is mostly genetic and passed down through generations. That's why you sometimes see a parent with autistic tendencies who has a child with autism.

Regressive autism is when children are developing normally as babies, but around 18 months to 2 years, they start regressing into the world of autism.

He says that many factors contribute to this. A few of those include:

• Genetics
• A mother's health when she was pregnant (maybe she got a flu vaccine or other harmful medication, or maybe she had Lyme disease)
• The toxins in the environment. Some highly polluted areas of the country have a much larger population of children with autism.

So, factors like these are the "gun" and immunizations are the "trigger."

Did you know that over the last 20 years, the number of immunizations our children receive has skyrocketed? Back in the 80s and early 90s, pharmaceutical companies used a preservative called thimerosal in the vaccines so that doctors could give several at once. (The most common example is the MMR.) Thimerosal contains mercury, which is one of the most deadly chemicals on the planet, and this was being injected into children.

The early 90s also is the time when the cases of autism skyrocketed to about 1 in 150.

Thimerosal was eventually banned from vaccines. (This book states that it is still used in the flu vaccine. I don't know if this is true, but I am not taking any chances.)

Even though the chemical isn't used in the vaccines anymore, Bock said he has seen that children with a weakened immune system at the time of their vaccines, or children who are subjected to an unusually high number of vaccines at one time are the ones who usually have an adverse reaction.

These kids also have some of the factors I listed previously that make them more predisposed to getting autism in the first place. So, they had a weakened immune system for another reason -- genetics, illness, toxins, environment. And when they got the shots, their immune system basically crumbled.

That is my understanding of the process. This book also gives a guide for parents to safely get their children vaccinated.

I am hoping to write another post about how this book is changing the way I think about allergies. Stay tuned...

the power of hope

Memorial Day weekend is always one of the busiest weekends of the year for me. I know, I probably should be lounging around with my family during the long holiday weekend.

But instead, for the past few years, I have packed up a toy store into the back of my minivan and hauled it about an hour north for one of my biggest "work" related events of the year. As most of you know, I'm a sales director for Discovery Toys, an educational toy company.

I choose when I work. And I don't like to work on weekends. But this one weekend of the year is very fulfilling to me in many ways. It's when hundreds and even thousands of people from around the world gather in the Chicago area for one of the largest autism conferences in the country: Autism One.

It's exhausting: Standing on my feet for three 12-hour days in a row, setting up my booth, talking to hundreds of people and then loading up the stray toys that are left on Sunday afternoon.

But I love this conference because the parents, therapists and doctors who stop by my booth don't see a huge display of toys. They see tools. They understand how important play is in the growth of a child's brain. They understand so acutely that play is not something every parent can take for granted. It's not just being silly or goofing around. It's essential to a child's development.

It's also overwhelming to be surrounded by autism for so many hours. It gives me only the tiniest glimpse of what it must be like to live in that world without end. One woman stated her feelings so well, when she came running up to my booth after finishing a seminar.

"It feels so good to see toys!" she exclaimed. It gave her a feeling of relief and comfort compared to all of the others booths lined up and down the hallways of the large hotel.

I'm sort of like a little island surrounded by the tricky waters of the other vendors: hyperbaric oxygen tanks, gluten free/casein free diet plans, auditory integration therapy, hormone therapy and the many other types of biomedical innovations that are being taught at the conference.

But I also noticed this year a current that seemed to be cascading through the crowds of people in attendance. They all had gathered for the same cause as previous years: Autism. But they seemed to be buoyed this year by a force stronger than ever: Hope.

Hope is an amazing thing, isn't it? Without it, why would parents travel from around the world to learn about the latest discoveries in treating a condition that 10 years ago was routinely labeled as "incurable". Hopeless.

To hear their stories is heartbreaking. Babies and toddlers developing normally. Then around 18 months, they stopped babbling. Stopped talking. Stopped looking Mom in the eye. Started twirling. Started flapping. Starting crying out in pain.

In this enclosed space of the Westin Hotel in Rosemont, assumptions don't match those in the medical community. Here, it's not only accepted, but an unquestioned fact that childhood immunizations are a large contributing factor.

This talk really disturbed me the first few years. I hope I can write more about this debate later on this week.

But this year, the focus was less on what had caused the problem and more on how to solve it.

"How old are your kids?" I asked one dad who was especially excited about my toy offerings and how he could use them with his sons.

"My boys are 3 and 1," he said. "But they are both NT."

(After a few years I've learned much of the lingo. So, I quickly figured that NT is code for neuro-typical. And that means their brains are developing "normally". They don't have autism.)

"Oh? What brings you to the conference then?" I asked.

"Well, my 3-year-old had autism. But he is cured."

It was a story I had heard a few times throughout the weekend. Sure. There were still lots of families coming up to my booth along with their kids who showed the classic signs of autism. There were several moms running up to me in desperation. "My son is having a severe meltdown. I need a toy. Now."

But there were also these stories I hadn't heard before. Radical diet changes. Infusions of vitamins and minerals. Oxygen treatments. And they were working.

Still... cured? You have to understand that the families that come to this conference, by their own admission, aren't mainstream. They represent a small percentage of families affected by autism who are waging war on this condition. They are looking at every possible solution. They are willing to try anything for their kids. And according to some of them, it's working.

During the last few hours of the conference, I stepped to the front of my booth to see that a little boy, about 9 years old, had dismantled by Marbleworks Deluxe set that I had painstakingly constructed as a display. All of the pieces were sitting in a big pile and he was carefully attaching a few tubes back together.

I love it when kids park themselves at my booth to play. But I was at the end of my energy level and ready to pack it up and go home. And, I will admit, after several days of putting toys back together, I didn't have a lot of confidence in this kid's ability.

He played quietly on the floor while I talked to my customers. After a while I heard the distinct sound of a marble running through the maze. I peered over the table. He had created a marble run that was far more elaborate and creative than anything I had ever built. He even had a jump halfway through where the marble soared off a ramp and landed on another part of the run.

He looked directly at me and asked, "Would you like me to put it back the way it was? Or should I leave it like this?"

"Oh, I definitely want you to leave it like that!" I answered. "It looks awesome."

This boy, Mark, went on to test out several of my other toys. But he would politely ask my permission before grabbing one and then thank me after he was finished. I found out through other passersby that he had just finished speaking at one of the sessions.

I asked him what he had talked about.

"Oh... how I was cured of autism."

I actually felt kind of sad when Mark's mom informed him it was time to go. Talking to him had been a joy. He carefully tweaked his Marbleworks run before thanking me and walking away.

And I realized I had a deficiency myself. He had given me a surge of something I had been needing all weekend.

Hope.