My year, according to Facebook

I compiled my favorite Facebook status updates of 2010. Here are the top 24. (That's two a month, you know.)

1. Jayda: "ga-ga-ga-ga" Translation: "So many pieces of furniture to spit up on, so little time."

2. I'm not sure how I'm going to tell my imaginary personal trainer on Wii Active that I haven't been showing up to jog in place on her fake track because I'm too busy dancing with my imaginary friends on Wii Just Dance. I think I'm getting more of a workout, too.

3. I'm wondering how the "French bread" I made for dinner is going to taste, since I just read the package and found out it was a roll of refrigerated pizza crust dough.

4. I'm thinking about going on my biannual run. I try to run one mile once every two years. It's a rigorous schedule so I want to make sure I'm mentally prepared before I just jump in.

5. Three children in awana. Spent the evening at awards ceremony. One out of the 3 actually made it all the way home with the award.

6. Matthew just asked me when I was a kid how old I had to be to have an iPod. :)

7. I love how the first born wants to make sure he completely understands the rules. The second born tries his best to break the rules. And the third born is like, "Oh, I didn't know there were rules!"

8. I love my 9-year-old. I asked him the difference between famous and obscure. Famous: "Barack Obama." Obscure: "A kid named Toto Baggypants who lived in Africa and only had nine friends."

9.The kids found a centipede in our house so they used the scissors to cut it into three pieces. When it was STILL moving, they suggested we put it on Facebook, my blog AND my iPod... "That would really froke people out," according to Alayna. (Froke is the past tense of freak, in case you didn't know.)

10. just discovered the best way to do laundry: "One load at a time." (If anyone wants to quote me on this amazing statement, please feel free. I'm sure it will be a famous quote someday. hahahaha.)

11. deep thoughts from a 9-year-old: "When Tiger Woods was good, it seemed like he was really good. But when he's not good, you find out his true character... I get tired of seeing his tantrums."

12. Alayna has an empty water bottle and she wants to know if she can use it for a "Skittles" bottle. Her plan is to go around the neighborhood and ask people if they have any leftover Skittles.

13. The 7 year old just came downstairs wearing swimming trunks, a firefighter jacket and carrying an Indiana Jones whip. Sometimes, I don't bother to ask why.

14. Quotes of the day: "WHEN is tomorrow?" ... and you can't let your toothbrush touch someone else's toothbrush because "you might get diabetes!!"

15. Hmmm... Not sure about certain little boys who beg me to go down the tube slide with them because my extreme weight will increase their speed, then to thank me they jump off at the end and make me flip into the water! Fun times!

16. Perspective is a great thing. Funny how when we had one child it seemed like we had our hands full. But now that we have four, and three are at a sleep-over, it seems totally quiet with one.

17. Quote of the week: Matthew: "So what's that smell at So-and-So's house?" Andrew: "I think it's... clean-ness." (Because, clearly, it's not a smell they are used to!)

18. Uncle! I've reached my limit. Just did the "emergency" load of laundry so we would have clothes for soccer tomorrow. The washing machine was on the spin cycle when I noticed the clothes still sitting on the floor. The load of water should be nice and clean.

19. Kent and I have been married for 13 years. He just said to me: "It's been the best 10 years of my life." Oh well... at least we make each other laugh!

20. We are studying biology this year, and we have read three different books recently with sections about the sea cucumber. When it is threatened, it protects itself by expelling its intestines. Another fish likes to live inside the cucumber and sometimes eats its insides. When we opened our book today and saw another setion on the sea cucumber, Alayna said, "Oh no! Not that pickle again!"

21. I love it when the kids, including their friends, all come inside for hot chocolate after playing outside since the crack of dawn, they take off their snowsuits and realize they are still wearing PJs. So funny!

22. iPad.

23. I solved the rubik's cube.

24. The zoo lights really put me in the Christmas spirit. I'm ready to get out the Christmas tree! Visiting the zoo in December inspired me to write this poem: At the zoo. In the Winter. No crowds. No animals.

In defense of the friend finder

A few months ago, a friend of mine from college sent me a message on Facebook.

"I found Mark and Karen!" she wrote. "And they're married!"

I was a mix of surprise and totally not surprised. But mostly I was so happy for my two buddies from our single years. Immediately, I made a friend request, and within a few days, I was snooping around to find out what had become of my two friends.

I hadn't seen Mark in nearly 15 years. I hadn't seen Karen since right after I was married, about 13 years ago. Somehow, in all of their various moves to Russia, Colorado, Georgia, Kansas City and Arizona, we had lost track of each other.

I did a little snooping around Facebook, as any long, lost friend would do. I found out that after yeas of on-and-off dating, they had gotten married two years ago. I saw photos of them scaling gorgeous rocks in Arizona and looking like neither of them had aged one single day.

On Sunday, they sent me a message through Facebook. They were home from Arizona, visiting Karen's mom who lives just a few miles from my house! Could they come for a visit?

I have to admit that this thought, at first, made me very nervous. I wanted to write back and say, "Yes, you can visit. But you have to understand. I'm 41 now! I have given birth to FOUR children! I drive a minivan. We might not have a very peaceful conversation. And my baby throws her food on the floor. It's not always pretty."

You see. There's something very comforting about living inside this computer. There's something very safe about hiding behind the wall of Facebook. There's something nice and cozy about living inside my blog. I only have to show you the pretty parts. I only have to tell you what is nice and happy. And you can't see my wrinkles or the food on the floor or hear the children argue.

Maybe my marathon-running, mountain-climbing, professional friends would shake their heads at my minivan and my house in cookie-cutter suburbia. My home-schooling, stay-at-home mom self was remembering my ambitious, carefree, single self, and I wasn't sure if they would even recognize me. It had been so long.

As the time grew closer for their arrival, I started getting excited. "It's Mark and Karen! Why am I worrying?!" I was thinking about heaven, to tell you the truth. It must be so fun to show up in heaven one day and see friends you haven't seen in decades! It must be so fun to be reunited as one big family, never to be separated again.

And so with all of these thoughts fresh in my mind, I did what only I would do when they walked up to my door. I started crying. That's one way to break the ice, I guess.

We immediately started talking about the time Mark put the car in reverse and spilled an extra large Coke all over my lap. The time Karen and I were roommates, and I spilled a big tray of enchiladas on the (very dirty) floor, then served them anyway to our dinner guests. The times Karen and I drove to St. Louis to meet up with Mark, who lived in Kansas City.

We laughed. And my heart was filled with so much joy at that immediate connection you feel with people who knew you before. They knew me before marriage. Before kids. When we were all young and had dreams and plans. And now, here we were, in our 40s, not doing what we had planned. And we were all old enough to realize those things didn't really matter anyway.

We could pick up again right where we left off. We had all gone through heartache and pain and loss and joy and happiness, and we could meet again right where we were.

So, I had one of those days where I was happy for Facebook and the friend finder. And even happier for old friends who are new friends again.

Join my fan club and this WON'T happen to you!

Just when you thought you had seen enough here at everydayMOM, I've gone off and done it again. I created my own fan club.

I know what you're thinking. You've GOT to be kidding?!?!

But there is a very logical explanation. I'm just trying to make your life easier.

If you join my fan page, one and only one thing happens: You will get to see everydayMOM posts in your news feed on Facebook. And doesn't that sound exciting?!?

Sometimes I post links to my blog on Facebook, but I thought it would be nice if my readers had the option to get ALL of my sometimes silly, often sarcastic, once-in-a-while thought-provoking, frequently over-the-top and once-in-a-blue-moon spectacular posts delivered right to their news feed. AND this also allows readers to get everydayMOM on Facebook even if they aren't FB friends with the real life eM(ily).

Now, I'm sure you still might be wondering if there is a hidden catch. So let me just tell you the Top 5 Things That WON'T Happen If You Become a Facebook Fan of everydayMOM.

1. You WON'T have to wait in any long lines. That's right. You will be able to read my blog — just as you always have — from the comfort of your own home.

2. You WON'T have to worry that you've missed something. No more rushing to get off Facebook to check for a new blog post. It will be listed in your news feed right alongside all the reports from your other friends about urgent topics like what a nice day it is, who is drinking a second cup of coffee and what fun activities all of your friends enjoyed over the weekend without inviting you.

3. You WON'T have to hurt my feelings if you secretly don't want to get everydayMOM in your news feed. That's right. You can just "hide" me like you do all of your other friends who you regret ever accepting a friend request from.

4. You WON'T have to eat my cooking. You can continue to eat the foods you like. I won't try to make you try any of my ground beef recipes or one single thing I made in the crock pot. I won't even come to your house and try to mooch dinner (unless I'm invited).

And finally....

5. I WON'T feel like a complete idiot because I am the only person in the world who wants to Fan me on Facebook.

So, go ahead. Be nice. Click the link. Become a fan. It will be fun. I promise.

P.S. I'll love you forever.

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