Turn it upside down

Since Baby #4 was about six months old, she has loved to stand with her head on the ground.




We can't remember any of our other children doing this. Or if they did, we don't remember them doing it quite as frequently.

When she is happy, she stands on her head.

When she is excited, she stands on her head.

When she wants attention, she stands on her head.



We always wonder why she does this. Maybe people look more interesting upside down. Maybe her brain feels better with all of that blood rushing into her head.




I don't know. I like to think that maybe she just likes to change her perspective. If life gets too dull right side up, it's nice to flip it upside down.

When she stands on her head, it's often contagious. All of the other family members are soon standing on their head, talking to her through their legs.



It's fun to join her in upside-down world. How can you resist laughing when you are standing on your head?

It's a good reminder for me, too. When the world is looking gloomy and full of doubt, it's kind of nice to flip it on its head. If the people around me are assuming the worst in each other, why not expect the best? When people are complaining about what's happening around them, why not encourage someone instead?

I'm so glad I have this baby around my house to give me a daily reminder that maybe it's time to turn things upside down.

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Be The One

As my kids have gotten older, they (naturally) have been getting in more situations in which they have to make a choice about the right way to behave.

We've had lots of conversations lately about what they should do when other kids are encouraging them to do things they know they shouldn't. They have been complaining that often one kid is driving all the others in a group to misbehave.

During one of these discussions, a phrase popped out of my mouth that has started to become kind of a mantra at our house: Be The One.

Let me explain. Sometimes they are in a group with a strong leader. One kid can have so much power. He can influence all of the others to do the right thing. Or he might be stirring up trouble.

Well, they have a choice. They can either follow. Or they can Be The One.

They can Be The One to encourage the other kids to do good. They can Be The One to stand up for what they believe. They can Be The One to help other kids choose the right path.

This idea really struck a chord with my kids. And it has me thinking, too.

How can I Be The One?

Will I Be The One to talk to my neighbors? Will I Be The One to be a friend to someone who is lonely? Will I Be The One to help someone in need?

It's so easy to follow. It's easy to do what everyone else is doing. It's easy to not say anything when someone else is a bad influence.

But why not Be The One?

What do you think? Can you think of any ways you could Be The One? Have you had similar conversations with your children? And what has worked for you?

Edited to add: Oh, and by the way... my kids aren't always THE ONES to influence others in a good way. They definitely do their share of stirring up trouble. =]

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The notecard

If you are looking for my Lost post, scroll on down...

***

I really don't like getting the mail. It gives me a sense of dread about what demands lie hidden inside sealed envelopes.

Bills that need to be paid. A reminder about something I've forgotten. A meeting I need to attend.

I'll admit it. Sometimes I leave my mail piled in a stack for days before I work up the courage to sort through the junk and take care of the letters that require my attention.

So, it was kind of unusual yesterday that I took a minute to open the mail right away. The first thing that caught my eye was a small envelope with my name and address hand-written on the front. There was no return address.

Hmmm. I can't think of anyone who might be sending me a thank you card (although I still owe thank you notes to about 10 people). Maybe it's a birthday card from my insurance agent. She's one of the few people left who still sends a greeting that way instead of through Facebook or e-mail. Or an invitation? A home party, maybe?

I tore open the envelope and read the first line.

"Emily, you are such a blessing to me..."

What?! I was on the phone with my husband at the same time. While we were talking, I kept scanning the note to try to figure out what it was about. Who was it from? Why had they sent it?

No signature.

I looked at the envelope again. No return address. The postmark was blurred so I couldn't even see from what town it might have been sent.

It must be from my secret sister. I think I remember reading in the secret sister description that we could send notes to each other in the mail. But wouldn't she have at least signed it, "secret sister"?

Maybe it was an early birthday card. You know. You're supposed to say nice things to people on their birthday. But wouldn't it say, "Happy Birthday!"?

I read it again line by line.

"Thanks for sharing kindness to those who are insecure and have nobody."

Really? Me? I have shown kindness to the insecure?

I don't feel like I am that good at showing kindness to the insecure. I'm usually working so hard to battle my own insecurity that I'm afraid I come off as aloof.

I was so struck that this person saw that in me. Because seriously. That would be one of the Top 5 things I would want someone to include in my epitaph. "Loved Jesus. Wonderful Wife. Awesome Mom. Could stretch 5 pounds of ground beef into 10 meals (just kidding). Friend to the insecure."

I continued to read.

Wow. Whoever wrote this note really had the gift of encouragement. It wasn't just a quick one-liner, thank-you-for-doing-such-and-such kind of note. The writer had really taken some time composing her thoughts.

I was so curious that I put out a message on Facebook, hoping the writer simply forgot to sign her name. Another friend from my church responded that she also had received a note of encouragement in the mail that day. So, that means, it wasn't from my secret sister. It wasn't for my birthday. It wasn't from a relative.

Someone wrote that note. For no reason. Just.... to be... nice.

I needed that. More than that person could know. And I just wanted to say, "thank you". You inspired me. I hope I can follow your example and spread some encouragement, too.

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Encouragement changes everything

One of the things I have enjoyed most about my work-at-home job over the last few years is learning about the power of encouragement.

It's not something people get enough of. And that seems to be especially true with the stay-at-home mom crowd. We aren't in a position each day where we have an employer or a peer telling us we are doing a great job.

For the most part, what we do is pretty thankless. In fact, many of our attempts at being a good mom are met with whining or temper tantrums.

It's always been amazing to me to see how far a little encouragement goes. Point out someone's positive qualities and suddenly she starts seeing herself as someone who can be successful. Believe in someone, and soon she will start believing in herself.

Well, over the past few months since I have been working a lot less, this is probably the thing I have missed most.... not only encouraging others but being encouraged for something other than my ability to make a mighty fine frozen pizza.

To be honest, the past few weeks have been a little discouraging. I think this is due in large part to the fact that my nesting instinct is starting to kick in. I tried to explain this to a friend who was surprised to hear I wasn't feeling "together" or "self-confident", which was more the impression he had, I think.

"I just feel fragile."

Little things that normally would bounce right off of me make me want to run and hide under the covers. I feel like I have to expend all of my extra energy to grow and protect the little one inside of me, as well as those around me, leaving very little for myself.

I have been amazed, though at how God has been sending people my way to offer just what I have needed: encouargement.

For example, a friend I haven't seen in five years popped back into my life and my encounter with her was such a blessing. She truly has the gift of encouragement. Without even knowing how I was feeling, she started pointing out to me my positive qualities, which were exactly the same areas where I was feeling defeated.

A few days later, we went out to dinner with some friends who simply listened and then helped me see the truth in some negative statements that had been made.

And then a couple of days ago, while we were on a playdate with some friends from the boys' school, we bumped into a friend I hadn't seen in about three years! The kids and I were all feeling pretty sentimental about the fact the boys wouldn't be joining their friends in a few days for the first day of school. But my old friend, who has been a home school mom for a while now, out of the blue started rattling off encouragement about the life ahead of us.

For the past few days I have been re-reading a book I have probably read 10 times, Encouragement Changes Everything by John Maxwell. The book is a mixture of Bible verses, quotes and short stories. I hope to quote some of them on my blog from time to time.

Here's one that I have been thinking about the past few days:

There are three types of people in the world today. There are "well-poisoners," who discourage you and stomp on your creativity and tell you what you can't do.

There are "lawn-mowers," people who are well-intentioned but self-absorbed; they tend to their own needs, mow their own lawns, and never leave their yards to help another person.

Finally, there are "life-enhancers," people who reach out to enrich the lives of others, to lift them up and inspire them.

We need to be life-enhancers and we need to surround ourselves with life-enhancers.

~ Walt Disney

How about you? Are you feeling encouraged? Or have you let yourself be affected by a well-poisoner or a lawn-mower? Have you thought about who you can encourage this week?

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