Oh, what a year!

On this, the last day of 2009, I would love to write something meaningful to celebrate such an eventful year in our lives. Our family celebrated milestones, said good-bye to loved ones, welcomed a new life, faced challenges and made it through big changes.

But I'm a little too sleep-deprived to come up with the words to properly pay tribute to such an amazing year. So, instead, I'm joining other bloggers in wrapping up the year bloggy-style.


Here, I give you, the first line of every post of every month from 2009. I was surprised at how well this really did re-cap the whole year.

JANUARY

True confession. I'm waking up this morning on Jan. 1 with no New Year's Resolution. This is actually often the case with me.

I would learn later that there was a reason I didn't set any goals for 2009. I would find out in a few months that all things "Emily" would be set aside, and I would be called upon to take on some roles I would not have considered on my own.


FEBRUARY

Oh my, oh my... We are having the most incredible vacation in the history of our family. I wanted to give a quick update and share some photos.


The highlight of February was our vacation to Acapulco for the Discovery Toys incentive trip. It was beautiful. It was perfect. It was a trip we won't soon forget. It also was significant for me because this would be the first time in the last five years I made the choice not to set a goal to earn the incentive trip, making our past trip that much more special.

While we were in Mexico, we also lost my Grandma Dot, who had been a very special influence in my life.

MARCH

You might be wondering why I've been writing posts lately about opossums. Then again, maybe it didn't even seem odd to you, which is a really scary thought.


March marked one of my hilarious encounters with wildlife when THE opossum moved into our garage. Oh, what fun I had blogging about that guy. It even brought out the poet in me.

I also kicked off my own 40 Days of 40 countdown to my milestone birthday and unleashed my inner rock star.

APRIL

OK. I think I'm starting to understand. Seriously. It's all starting to make sense.

How could I recap the year without mentioning all of my posts about my favorite TV show, Lost? This was one in which I had reached the height of confusion about what was actually happening last season.

MAY

About five weeks ago, my friend, Julie, invited our family over for a cook-out. Julie is a busy woman, so I really didn't think anything of the fact that we had to make our dinner plans so far in advance.

I celebrated my 40th birthday in April with more celebrations than any one person should be allowed to have for herself. And then my girlfriends topped it all off by surprising me with this one the first weekend in May. I am blessed!

I also got serious in May, blogging about the topics of autism and allergies.

JUNE

Have you ever had a time in your life during which everything seemed to be falling apart?

And then there was June, the month in which I revealed what had really been on my mind the past few months. I was pregnant. We were going to home school. And I started blogging about my advanced maternal age.

JULY

A few days ago, I mentioned that my husband and I were planning to get away for a few days without our kids.

July was the month of vacations. CapableDad and I visited the Smokies without kids. We camped. And we joined four generations of family for a get-away that I wrote about in August.

Oh, and we also found out we were having a GIRL!

AUGUST

We are home from our little get-away with family.


Our high-flying family really got into the swing of things on that trip.

SEPTEMBER

Monday was our first day of school at home! The day went better than I expected...


And then we got down to business in September. We started our journey of doing school at home.

OCTOBER

Despite the fact I woke up at 5 a.m. this morning, I still found myself running around like a crazy woman at 9:15, shouting, "Has ANYONE seen my Hannah Montana wig?!?"


By October, the third trimester of pregnancy was taking a toll on my body... and my brain. In this post, I wrote about how I was starting to go a little crazy trying to keep everything straight.

NOVEMBER

Judging from all of the cards and letters I have been receiving, you all have been dying to know what ever happened to my UNBELIEVABLE Seven Day Meal Plan That Never Changes.

We celebrated a Golden Birthday in November, and our anniversary. But the first post of the month happened to be one about my never-ending quest to answer that age-old question: "What's for dinner?"

DECEMBER

Introducing... The one... the only... the cutie pie, the perfectly sweet baby...
Jayda Grace
7 lbs, 2 ounces
20 inches
Born TUESDAY, Dec. 1 at 8:40 p.m.


Awww... And of course, the highlight of our year happened on Dec. 1 when we welcomed this sweet gift to our family.


I'm a little exhausted just reading about all of the events of 2009. I'm ready for a fresh start and optimistic about all that 2010 will bring.

Happy New Year, everyone!

** Head over to Musings of a Housewife to find out what 2009 was like for other bloggers. **

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another piece of the puzzle

Don't you just love it when you have been searching and searching for information and then suddenly, out of nowhere, the thing you need pops up in the most unexpected place?

You probably know by now that I'm not a big believer in luck or coincidence. I mean it when I say that I believe God will put us in the right place at the right time. Or cause someone to bring up something in a casual conversation. Or plop an expert right in front of your face, right when you needed it.

So, you already know that our family has been in a serious struggle the past couple of years to figure out WHY things are so difficult for one of our children. WHY do his brother and sister seem to learn so easily? But concepts that seem simple can be so difficult for HIM?

At the same time, we have wondered WHY is he the only one in the family with severe allergies. Why do his brother and sister love eating fruits and veggies, but he can barely tolerate corn and carrots?

And then a couple of weeks ago, while I was working a Discovery Toys booth at an autism conference, of all places, I stumbled upon a book, which for the first time made a connection in my mind between these two issues.

I had already been on a mission for several years to figure out how to help my child learn. Now, I was on a mission to figure out how his allergies and diet might be a piece of the puzzle.

Little did I know that when my friends convinced me to attend a homeschooling conference I would find more clues in my search.

I really didn't want to go. I still don't really see myself as a homeschool mom. And I was worried about being surrounded by homeschooling cheerleaders all dressed in matching denim jumpers.

But my group of friends are all nice, normal women, who I really like to be around, so I figured worst-case scenario it would give me a chance to wear cute clothes and eat food someone else had cooked. And those two possibilities will get me to go almost anywhere.

I certainly didn't expect that I would be immersed in six hours of in-depth seminars on how to identify my child's learning struggle, how to help him without spending $15,000 on therapy (our current best option) and how allergies, diet and nutrition could be at the root of the whole issue. And yet, that is exactly where I have been for the past two days.

I was searching for someone who would just tell me WHAT. TO. DO. And that is exactly what this woman did over the weekend.

I don't now if she's right. I don't know if her plan will work. And I know many of y'all probably aren't real interested in this topic.

But I just feel like I want to document this journey here on my blog. Because if the things we are going to try DO work, I would love to make some other mom's journey easier and shorter than mine has been. So, in a nutshell (not really, since my son is allergic to nuts), here's what I learned this weekend.

1. Kids who have a learning glitch, or a blocked learning gate, or a dysfunction, dyslexia or dsygraphia... whatever you want to call it, often have an overgrowth of yeast in their system. This comes from taking too many antibiotics when they were little. The yeast is constantly fed and grows through a diet of sugar and bread.

Um, did I mention my child pretty much lives on starchy food? And that he is the only one in the family who gets severe stomach aches when he takes an antibiotic? Yeast overgrowth also exhibits itself in anxiety and eczema. Both of these have always been a struggle for one child only.

2. Next, I learned that the brain is 60 percent fat, and the fat it needs is found in Essential Fatty Acids. Because so many of our fats now are broken down and hydrogenated, the only place to get Essential Fatty Acids is through mother's milk and fish oil. Well, unfortunately, this mom hates seafood. So, I don't ever serve my family fish. Ever.

When she said these kids crave butter, have dry skin and eczema, plus sensory issues, I was suspicious. Then, she mentioned that their hair is so dry that it sticks up in back. How many times have we teased our son because his hair sticks straight up after he washes it?

This speaker said that giving Omega-3 supplements to increase Essential Fatty Acids will give the brain more of the fat it needs to focus and learn, plus it creates serotonin, which helps with moodiness and depression.

3. Finally, the allergies. If a kid's system is full of histamines, it blocks his ability to learn. I know how bad I feel in the spring when my outdoor allergies kick in. But my child exhibits these symptoms almost every day of his life. So, we need to make some diet changes to eliminate more offending agents than just nuts and peanuts.

I hope to fill you in as we proceed on this journey. I'm just excited to have some new avenues to try, and I don't have to spend thousands more in doctor bills and therapy to get started.

If you have any experience with any of the things I have mentioned, I would love to hear your stories!



If you liked this post, you might also want to read:

the power of hope
autism and vaccines
allergies, asthma, adhd and autism

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allergies, asthma, adhd and autism

Whenever I start talking to someone about my oldest son's severe peanut allergy, the inevitable question always arises: Why do you think so many kids today have allergies? We never heard about allergies when we were growing up.

I have mentioned in my last two posts a book that I am reading, which, for the first time, answers that question in a way that makes sense to me. The book is called Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma, and Allergies by Kenneth Bock.

Bock asserts in the book that the dramatic rise in the incidence of all of these 4-A conditions began at about the same time. He believes that the same factors that contribute to the increase in autism also could be causing the other "A" conditions that are plaguing this generation of children: toxins in the environment, immunizations, weakened immune systems, as well as genetics.

And if the causes are the same, could it be that the cure also is the same? The author definitely believes this is true.

And for the first time, I feel like some of those motherly instincts I have had for the last eight years are validated by an independent source.

I mean, why is it that only one of my three children has allergies?

He not only is allergic to peanuts and nuts, but also to EVERYTHING outdoors: trees, grass, mold, pollen, ragweed, dust mites, cats and dogs. If your child has ever had a prick test on his or her back or arms, just imagine if every single one of those little dots turned into a bright red welt and came back positive.

I also have wondered if all of this goes back to his first day of life outside the womb. The day when I pushed for two hours, but he didn't move an inch down the birth canal. The day when his heart rate started dropping and they rushed me to the emergency room. The day he was born almost blue from lack of oxygen and had an APGAR score of 2. The day they placed him in an oxygen tent and fed him through a tube in his nose.

Now, I'm reading that on THAT day, the first day of life, doctors also give newborn babies their first vaccine. I don't know if that happened to my son. I was out stone cold after the doctor sliced me open before I was fully anesthetized. They had to put me completely under, and I didn't see my newborn baby for about 12 hours.

Before I go on, let me just tell you, that this kid is a delight. He is truly one of the sweetest, most caring, compassionate kids you will meet. He is highly creative and can run like the wind. He is a leader in his class and has a great group of friends.

But I have always suspected that the same forces that are causing his allergies could be causing some of the other struggles he has had throughout his life. When he was little, these played out in the form of constant crying as a baby, followed by uncontrollable tantrums as a toddler.

Then came the fears of swings, slides, bike rides, tunnels, anything at an amusement park. He couldn't handle loud noises. He actually refused to go in our back yard for an entire year because he was afraid of the sound of the neighbor's dog barking. He hated getting his hair cut, new shoes, brushing his teeth and even at 8 years old, he has never put his head underwater. This kind of makes swimming lessons impossible.

Although he is very intelligent in his school subjects, he also has problems understanding certain concepts or figuring things out. We have been on a journey the past few years to determine what is causing this. He has been to therapists, reading specialists, an audiologist, an eye doctor and an occupational therapist, but we still don't have a good answer.

Could it all be related?

Could it be that the author of this book is correct?

He says that whether your child has autism, ADHD, asthma or allergies, the root of the problem lies in what is inside their bodies. Maybe it's a high concentration of metals. Maybe he is eating foods to which he is allergic, and we don't realize it. Perhaps he needs supplements, such as Omega-3 or Amino Acids.

When my son was first tested for allergies five years ago, the initial test showed that he was allergic to wheat and soy. His allergist told me not to worry about those. She said the levels weren't high enough to eliminate them. So, my son lives on a diet of bread, pasta and cereal. But this book also says that kids tend to crave the very food to which they are allergic.

Could we be filling his body with foods that are irritating him from the inside out?

I have a lot more research to do to determine our next step. If anyone has any experience with alternative medicine or holistic doctors, I would love to hear what you have found, both good and bad.

We have been on a journey the past eight years. If it were a marathon, I would say we have made it to the one-mile mark. But I am excited about this new information and where it might lead.

autism and vaccines

After writing my last post about the autism conference where I had a booth this weekend, I wanted to go into a little more detail about what I have learned about the link between autism and childhood immunizations.

The first time I heard anyone mention this link was in the early 90s when I was a reporter for a chain of newspapers. I spent about five years covering state government in the capitol building in Springfield and then later became the Chicago bureau chief, where I also covered state government.

Honestly, this experience made me highly skeptical. That can be both good and bad. I don't take anything at face value. As they say in journalism school, "If your mother tells you she loves you, ask a second source." I tend to over-analyze things, think about them obsessively, research and look for second opinions.

So, I was skeptical when a tiny band of parents and advocates came to Springfield to hold a press conference, asking lawmakers to make changes to the number of vaccines required for young children to enter school.

This small group asserted that immunizations were the direct cause of autism. I also remember the public health department denouncing this claim, as if it had absolutely no basis and was a bit crazy.

The issue continued for several years after that. Studies were released showing no link between vaccines and autism, and it became a national issue.

I don't think I ever developed an opinion one way or another on that issue. I could see both sides. The claims of this group made sense to me. But could it all be coincidence? Regressive autism usually sets in around 18 months of age. That is right when most kids are getting a major round of immunizations.

I didn't think about it much until I had to start taking my own children in for their immunizations. I remember one time in particular when I questioned my doctor about the number of shots she wanted to give my daughter. She became visibly agitated, as if she had just had enough of arguing with Crazy Moms over this issue.

She started raising her voice and gave me papers and reports showing these claims were completely unfounded. We finally reached an agreement that she could give my daughter one shot that day and we would come in later for the others.

At Autism One, there is no debate over the link between vaccines and autism. To those parents, it is a proven fact.

A couple of years ago, my booth was next to that of some young ABA therapists. Their job is to do therapy with children with autism to help them learn to modify their behavior. By the way, this job that was barely even heard of a decade ago is now a hot field and services are much in demand.

These women told me about one of their clients. He was a boy adopted from South America when he was 2 years old. He came to the United States with bright eyes and a playful spirit. Because he had not had any immunizations, he got all of his shots at once. I think he had around 10 vaccinations at one time.

These ladies said that when that boy went home, he immediately sank into the dark hole of autism. The sparkle in his eyes was gone. He no longer made eye contact. He lost his ability to communicate. HE disappeared into the darkness called autism.

I don't know if this story is true. But it sunk into my brain and has stayed there for several years.

When I talk to the parents at Autism One and ask them when their child was diagnosed with autism, every one says that it was right after their big round of immunizations at about 18 months to 2 years.

This year, I decided it was time for me to gain a better understanding of the basics of autism and what these people believe.

I purchased a book called, "Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma and Allergies". I am so fascinated by this book for several reasons, which I hope to write more about this week. You could say that I'm completely obsessed with this book now.

Anyway, the author, Kenneth Bock is a holistic doctor who writes about how he has used a biomedical approach to cure children of autism, ADHD, asthma and allergies.

He also explains the connection between autism and immunizations. I will attempt to explain that here, but if you know more about this, feel free to correct me.

First of all, I learned that there are two forms of autism. Classic autism is mostly genetic and passed down through generations. That's why you sometimes see a parent with autistic tendencies who has a child with autism.

Regressive autism is when children are developing normally as babies, but around 18 months to 2 years, they start regressing into the world of autism.

He says that many factors contribute to this. A few of those include:

• Genetics
• A mother's health when she was pregnant (maybe she got a flu vaccine or other harmful medication, or maybe she had Lyme disease)
• The toxins in the environment. Some highly polluted areas of the country have a much larger population of children with autism.

So, factors like these are the "gun" and immunizations are the "trigger."

Did you know that over the last 20 years, the number of immunizations our children receive has skyrocketed? Back in the 80s and early 90s, pharmaceutical companies used a preservative called thimerosal in the vaccines so that doctors could give several at once. (The most common example is the MMR.) Thimerosal contains mercury, which is one of the most deadly chemicals on the planet, and this was being injected into children.

The early 90s also is the time when the cases of autism skyrocketed to about 1 in 150.

Thimerosal was eventually banned from vaccines. (This book states that it is still used in the flu vaccine. I don't know if this is true, but I am not taking any chances.)

Even though the chemical isn't used in the vaccines anymore, Bock said he has seen that children with a weakened immune system at the time of their vaccines, or children who are subjected to an unusually high number of vaccines at one time are the ones who usually have an adverse reaction.

These kids also have some of the factors I listed previously that make them more predisposed to getting autism in the first place. So, they had a weakened immune system for another reason -- genetics, illness, toxins, environment. And when they got the shots, their immune system basically crumbled.

That is my understanding of the process. This book also gives a guide for parents to safely get their children vaccinated.

I am hoping to write another post about how this book is changing the way I think about allergies. Stay tuned...

allergy moms and our story

Last week, when I wrote this post about my son's peanut allergy, a reader from the Allergy Moms web site stopped by and asked if she could publish it in her newsletter. The newsletter came out this weekend, which has been bringing tons of traffic.

If you are looking for my posts on my son's peanut allergy, click here or here. Thank you for all of the wonderful comments!

If you are a regular reader, just getting caught up from the weekend, check out my messy cake extraordinaire and how corn casserole is making me nostalgic.

Meanwhile, this is our story of how peanuts landed us in private school:

As kindergarten loomed for our oldest son, we had debated for months the option of sending our children to a private Christian school. But we made up our minds. Too expensive. Too far. We both went to public school, and our children would, too.

The public school down the street had a kindergarten sneak peek allowing moms and their children to stop by and check out the classroom. I had grown accustomed to the peanut-free standards at the preschool my son had attended the past two years, and I guessed a public school would be even more on top of allergies.

So, as I walked out of the classroom that day, I casually said to the teacher, "Now, the school is peanut-free, right?"

"Well, sort of," she replied.

Sort of? WHAT exactly does that mean?

A few phone calls with the teacher, the nurse, and the principal shed some light on the situation:

• Nine hundreds kids in the building.
• If they forget a lunch, they are given a peanut butter sandwich.
• Kids can bring any home-baked good they want for their birthday.
• Oh... and the class does make a Chex mix around Christmas time, but they could leave out the nuts this year.

The next afternoon, my neighbor stopped by on a walk with her daughter.

"I'm so happy that your son is in Megan's class. Megan is so excited about kindergarten that I already purchased her snack for her "special day". I got her favorite thing. Peanuts."

Peanuts?

Was that a bolt of lightening that just struck me in the head?

My son did attend the first day of kindergarten at the public school, and he and I both cried the whole time. There was nothing wrong with the school. But we both had a horrible sinking feeling in our gut that this was not the best situation for him. I called the private school we had been considering and asked if they had an opening.

"Oh, and by the way. My son has a severe peanut allergy. Are you equipped to handle that?"

Let me call you back.

That school didn't start until a week after the public school. While our school of choice took the matter before their board, we called in sick at the first school. We visited, and almost enrolled in another private kindergarten that had extremely high standards for allergies. But it was only a preschool and kindergarten, so it would be a temporary solution.

And we had numerous discussions with the other school.

They didn't have a nurse on staff, so who would administer the epi-pen? They didn't have any other children with severe allergies. How would this work? Quite frankly, they just weren't quite sure if they could handle us. And we weren't quite sure we could handle them.

For the first time in my young child's life, I realized what we were dealing with could be considered a disability. And it hit me that our choices were limited because of peanuts. And suddenly, I felt tremendous compassion for other families with children with a special need.

Maybe it's a physical need? Autism? Downs Syndrome? A developmental delay?

These families don't have the same choices other families do. They can't choose to send their child to a private school just because they want to. They have to make extra plans and preparations every time they take their children to the park or the pool or the zoo to keep them safe. And so did we. Because of peanuts. Because of a stupid, stinky, greasy legume that isn't even really a nut.

The board at our school did let my son attend. We have been trailblazers in establishing a peanut-free table at lunch, educating the teachers on allergies and instructing staff on the use of the epi-pen. We have taught all of the students in the school that if they eat peanuts or nuts, they must wash their hands immediately after eating.

This has been a tremendous learning experience for the students at my son's school. They are learning to look out for the needs of others. They are learning that no matter WHERE they are in society -- the park, an airplane, or a shopping mall -- that the peanut butter that is so yummy to them can be deadly to another child. It only takes a minute to wash. your. hands.

We don't worry about sending our son to school each day. He is in class of 14 students where his teacher is highly aware of his needs and concerned about his safety.

But I've also learned that we can't control everything. We don't know if someone came to school with peanut butter on his hands that morning. We don't know if someone forgot to clean his hands after eating a PB&J. And even recent newspaper reports have revealed that the foods we assumed are safe, might not be properly labeled.

The worry could drive us out of our minds.

We trust God to help. Just as we pray each morning for the safety of our other two children, we trust Him to protect our oldest son.

From peanuts.

birthday cake blues

The moment my 2nd grader opened the car door and climbed inside, I could tell something had gone wrong.

"What is it, honey? What happened?"

"Oh, mom," he cried. "It was David's* birthday. And he brought a cake."

He clutched his face in his hands and shook his head. His body was convulsing now as the tears started to fall. It was as if the emotion had been piling up inside as he stood in the pick-up line, and only after he was safe in the presence of Mom could it come pouring out like a flood.

"He's my very best friend. And he brought a cake," he cried, as he fidgeted with a pre-packaged Rice Krispie Treat in its bright blue wrapper.

I keep a stash of Rice Krispies in his teacher's desk drawer in cases like these. Because my son's allergy to peanuts is so severe, his teacher can substitute one of the packaged treats if someone brings in a snack that might not be safe for him to eat.

The parents of the other kids in my son's class are so thoughtful. They go out of their way on many occasions to bring a treat that doesn't contain peanuts or nuts. They have learned to read labels. They check for foods that aren't made in a plant with peanuts. And in the midst of the morning rush to pack lunches, they often choose peanut-free foods for their kids, just so they can sit at a special table with my 8-year-old.

But they can't possibly remember, or even know, that it's really not safe for him to eat something made in a bakery. And even if they did think of it, we can't expect them NOT to bring their child's favorite snack for his or her own birthday!

So, it's just the reality in our home that the special days at school when the kids get to break 15 minutes early to celebrate someone's birthday are some of the hardest days for my son. He gets tired of eating his Rice Krispie Treats while he watches the other kids bite into a big slice of cake with the thick icing on top.

He couldn't comprehend that his "best friend" would bring a treat he couldn't eat. But I know as a mom, this little boy's mom had absolutely no idea my son would be so upset by it. (And I would never write this post if any of the other 2nd grade parents knew I had a blog.)

"Why, Mom? Why do I have to have this stupid allergy?" he cried. "Why??"

We talk about the things we have learned from it:

The allergy helps us all remember that some kids are born with legs that don't work properly. They can't run.

Some kids are blind. They can't even see.

Some kids have autism. Some have epilepsy. Some have other diseases that severely limit their abilities. Some have challenges we can't even begin to imagine.

Some kids feel the pain every day of being the only kid of their race in the classroom. They feel different. And left out.

Not that any of these things make his struggle hurt less. But it helps to remember.

And it reminds us every day that only God can protect him. Only God can see the stray peanuts that might fall into a box of cereal. Only God knows if another child was playing at the park with peanut butter on his hands. We have to trust Him for our son's protection. Not only from peanuts, but lots and lots of other things.

"Did you cry in class?"

"I wanted to," he said. "But I tried to pretend like it was OK. Like it didn't matter."

He ripped open the Rice Krispie Treat and tore off a big chunk.

It seems way too early in his life to learn to pretend like it doesn't hurt. Like it doesn't matter.

We moms have all been there. It hurts more to see our child hurt than it ever did to go through it ourselves. So, I write this post, not to make anyone feel guilty about peanuts. But just as a window into simple things that sometimes turn into difficult days in our home.

What is it for you? Have you had a similar experience with your kids?

And by the way, we made a HUGE chocolate cake with chocolate icing that evening. And we've been enjoying it for several days.