So, what else is new?

This is probably the first year in my adult life that I am starting off a new year without even the slightest hint of a resolution. I'm feeling kind of boring and bland without any new goals or ideas for 2012.

Someone asked me this morning what was the best thing that happened in 2011. My struggle to answer doesn't mean I'm not thankful for absolutely every minute I had breath for the past 365 days. But it also feels like I finished a marathon that left me longing for quiet and solitude over grand plans and big ambitions.

The year had plenty of challenges. And yet the list of things for which I'm thankful is a long one: an amazing husband with a new job that is restoring some normalcy to our schedule, the three big kids who are growing up right before my eyes, the littlest one who gives us all a chance to relive the early years of learning and growing and see the world through those innocent eyes, an amazing community of friends who listen to me and laugh with me, and the chance to work from home doing all of the things I love.

Last year, my goal was to take a photo and blog about it every day of 2011. I made it 109 days. I'm glad for that first third of the year that I tried it and did it, and I'm glad to have those daily "journal" entries in my blog to remember all of those moments of 2011. I'm also glad that I was OK with giving up on that goal when I realized it was weighing me down more than it was lifting me up. My love of taking photos starting becoming a chore when I felt like I had to do it every single day.

At the risk of sounding arrogant or annoying, I decided to make a list of the things I accomplished in 2011. It's kind of nice to look back at a year that feels like a blur and remember that I'm starting 2012 as a person who is (at least a little bit) different than I was 365 days ago:

I learned a ton of new Photoshop tricks. A year ago, I didn't know how to "refine edges" or fill using "content aware" or master my "blending modes" or "create a clipping mask" or "rasterize type" or even use the "stamp tool." I have learned so much, which makes it more fun to build on my base of knowledge to learn even more in 2012.

I also taught myself how to use InDesign. I remember sitting in my bed at night watching tutorials on my iPad so I could work on a project that required it. A few months later, I'm feeling like an expert in InDesign and can do quickly what felt like a monumental task last summer.

I've learned a LOT about video editing, thanks to a friend who has given me so many great tips. I would love to graduate beyond iMovie and use some more advanced video editing software this year to see what I'm missing.

I got a new camera lens that has helped me work on my photography skills. I would like to purchase Adobe Lightroom this year and learn more about photo editing, as well as create a better system for storing my photos.

I started shopping at Costco. Doesn't that sound like the most hilarious thing to include on my list? It's actually an accomplishment for me because I don't like to grocery shop. But it's symbolic to me of the fact that I've been more on top of stocking up on the food we need so I can do a better job feeding my family.

I organized a lot of my recipes on allrecipes.com. I started using their more advanced features to create my meal plans and grocery shopping lists. I'm still sporadic in this area, but I feel like by the time my kids all graduate and move away, I will FINALLY be on top of my meal planning. :)

I ran nine miles. Yep, that's right. I ran nine miles in one year. I realize some people like to lump their miles all together and run them all at once. I ran my miles one at a time. I walked and biked a whole bunch of other miles, but for some reason, the ones I ran seem more important. My hope for 2012 is to run more miles than I did in 2011. And, thankfully, the bar is super low, so hopefully, I'll be able to accomplish that. :)

I blogged a lot less in 2011. I'm not sure if that's good or bad. I'm working on creating a photobook from all of my photos from 2011, and I love incorporating my blog posts into the book. In that respect, I wish I had blogged more. I would like to post photos and write about my family at least once a week in 2012, but I also realize it's harder than it looks. I don't want my effort to chronicle my memories to get in the way of enjoying the moments.

I made some new friends, renewed some old friendships and realized that I need to invest more in the friends I have. The year started with some difficult news for a dear friend. It's ending with the news that some of our closest friends are moving away. This kind of stuff makes me want to kick the curb, curl up in a ball and yell, "Not fair!" But I know God has a plan with all of this, and I'm trying to enjoy the people He places in my life the best that I can.

I made my marriage more of a priority. I realized how easy it is to get so caught up in the needs of the kids and the demands of keeping things going and forget the one person who is most important to me. This is definitely something I want to keep working on in 2012.

Well, it's kind of funny that in making that list I realized that I do have some goals for the new year. I'm also starting things off by going on a 40 day spiritual journey with my church. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens when I make it a priority to read the Bible and pray every single day.

What about you? Do you have big goals for 2012? Did 2011 turn out the way you had hoped? What's on your list for the new year?

A blog post about blogging

So, I was thinking about my blog the other day.

Some of you probably remember when I started blogging. I would write something nearly every day. It seemed that everywhere I went and everything I did, I was thinking about how I was going to turn it into a blog post. I couldn't go to sleep at night until I wrote something on my blog. I had to control myself to keep from updating my blog multiple times throughout the day.

Of course, with all that blogging, I was also always hoping someone would read my blog. I would mention it in casual conversation. I would read blog posts about how to attract blog readers. I would read blogs about how to be a better blogger.

Each morning, I would make the rounds of all of the "successful" bloggers, lurking around to try to figure out what made them so popular. I would dream about the day when I would eventually BE a blogger. Someone would ask me what I "do," and I would say, "Oh, I'm a blogger." (As if that was an important thing to be.)

I would spend time each day reading blogs and leaving comments, hoping to attract more readers to my blog. Other bloggers would reciprocate by reading my blog, and then I would reciprocate by reading theirs and on and on and on. I would get annoyed and envious when someone else would write a blog post about the most trivial topic and get dozens, even hundreds, of comments.

And eventually, I was trying so hard to be a good blogger that it wasn't as fun to write on my blog. I started to worry about the topics I was choosing. Would people be interested in reading them? What would people think of me if I wrote about THAT?

The one thing I do miss from that time is the interaction I got to have on a daily basis with readers. I loved my handful of loyal readers. I got to re-connect with friends from my childhood. I made new friends who I will probably never meet in real life. I also made new friends who I have met in real life and are now my real friends. And I got to know some friends on a deeper level from reading their blogs.

I realized that this year, I've gotten to the point where I'm almost afraid to blog. This year has been full of trials and challenges. It seems that most people who like my blog like it because it's funny. And I haven't felt very funny this year. I ran out of funny things to say. It's much harder to write about personal topics and do it in a way that doesn't sound whiny or preachy or annoying.

It's also hard to write about serious topics and wonder who might be reading. And it's hard to write about serious topics and think no one is reading because the topic was too serious.

It all became a vicious cycle. I stopped blogging as much. People stopped reading as much. Without the interaction of readers, I wasn't motivated to blog.

It seems difficult for me to find a middle ground.

I no longer have any interest in trying to "attract" readers or trying to convince people to read my blog.  I've finally reached a point where I'm OK to write on my blog just because I want to write on my blog. It makes me feel better to write what's on my mind. And if someone wants to read, that's awesome! If they want to interact with me by leaving a comment, that's even better.

I do love knowing someone might be out there reading. So, I'll ask this question: Can anyone relate?

Reality

Today is 010111. The date alone makes me want to make a resolution.

I was thinking about my proposed resolution up until the final minutes of 2010. I could hear the fireworks exploding in the distance, and my mind was still filled with thoughts of blogging every day in 2011. The idea alone was making me tense. I was starting to panic even before the first day of January officially arrived.

I was thinking about my life. The reality is I home-school about 30 hours a week. I work about 20 hours a week. Part of my job is to write on a blog. I have four children who are hungry all of the time. They also produce a ton of dirty clothes.

I don't spend enough time reading my Bible or exercising or reading books or grocery shopping or cleaning. My house is cluttered. I need to clean out every closet and take the contents to Goodwill. I have a baby who likes to throw squishy bananas on the floor.

I want to update my blog every day. I can update my blog every day. However, I am choosing not to. (GASP!)

I know. This is so unlike me. I love to have goals and push myself to try new things. But I don't want the pressure. I don't want to turn something that is currently my hobby, my outlet, my joy into something I dread.

I am going to take a photo every day. And I am going to put it in a neat little folder on my computer so at the end of the year I can create a photo book with one photo of every day of 2011. I want to challenge myself to be creative with the photos that I take.

I might share some of those photos on my blog, but I'm not making any promises. I want to see how they turn out. And I'm not sure if they will really be that interesting to anyone outside my immediate family. I don't want all of my e-mail subscribers to leave me because I'm overwhelming them with daily photos in their inbox.

So, thank you to those who encouraged me. I really did appreciate it.

And now, after being inspired by notasupermom, I'm going to post a few other things I plan to do in 2011:

I'm going to check my e-mail as often as I like. I might even put my iTouch in one back pocket, the iPhone in the other and carry my iPad under my arm and then have a showdown to see which one can retrieve my messages faster.

I'm going to drink at least two cups of tea every morning. I will drink my tea with refined white sugar.

I am going to kiss my baby's bald head every day until she grows some hair. I am going to make her wear little hats with huge flowers and bows. I will talk in my baby voice as long as I can get away with it, saying things like, "You are the cootest wittle baby I evah did see. I wuv oo."

I am going to be a more daring friend. I am going to take risks and go out on a limb for people.

I am going to let the e-mail pile up in my inbox until I reach my storage limit or Comcast threatens to shut down my account.

I am going to read books to my children in foreign accents. This drives them crazy and they beg me to stop. I am going to try to annoy them as much as possible with this. On some occasions, I will teach them grammar in my deep south accent and give them spelling words in my Chinese accent.

I am going to play lots of board games with my kids. I might even watch a few movies.

I am going to make as many different kinds of soup as I can until winter is over. I don't care if no one will eat them but me. I will make soup.

I am going to continue to expand my shoe collection.

I will take naps. Lots and lots of naps.

I might update my blog every day some months. Or I might not.

So, 2011, bring it on. We just met, but I'm starting to love you already!

Time for a change

We've been doing lots of cleaning and organizing around our house the past few weeks, and I finally decided it was time to clean up the blog, as well.

If you are reading on your phone, via e-mail, facebook or your reader, click on over today and say, "Hello" to my new look for winter. I took some photos of the family today and got inspired to dress the blog in the same calm colors.

Remember how the blog looked this morning?

I cleared out some things on the sidebars, too. And I finally added my blog roll back on the right. It was getting so long and unruly last year that I just deleted it completely. For now, I have only listed my friends in real life who have blogs I read. I also only listed people who post on a regular basis. If I forgot you, PLEASE let me know!

Would you do me a favor and let me know if anything is not working for you with the new design? Thanks for stopping! Merry Christmas!

You! (and you and you)

A few weeks ago, I took my kids to home school swim at our local aquatic center. I was sitting in the zero depth area trying to hide my very pale legs under the water while I played with the baby.

A woman came running over to me from across the pool. I wondered if she was bringing urgent news that she had an extra bottle of self-tanning cream in her bag.

"Aren't you the blog lady?!" she asked. (She really did sound excited when she asked, so I'm not exaggerating with the exclamation point.)

"Yes!" I answered. "I mean... maybe." Was it my imagination or did she just call me "the blog lady?" My mind was racing to try to answer.

"I don't know...," I stammered. "I do have a blog."

"I read your blog all the time," she said. (Well, she did say something to that effect. Perhaps she said, "I used to read your blog all the time" or "I read your blog a few times.")

She went on to tell me that I had even convinced her to watch Lost. After reading my Lost posts, she told her husband they had to get in on the series before the show ended, and they actually watched all six seasons in less than a year.

"WHAT?" I was thinking. (No, actually, I think I said, "WHAT?!" very loudly, but you know how noisy it can be at an indoor pool, so I can't be sure if I said it out loud or just thought it very loudly in my mind.) Anyway, I couldn't believe that not only did I have a reader I barely knew, but I had influenced her life in some weird, time-consuming, meaningless way.

I had met this woman more than a year ago at a park. It was the day I met my real life imaginary friend, Holly. We were discussing how we got to know each other through our blogs. This woman seemed interested, but I had no idea she had actually gone to the trouble to track down my blog address and had been reading.

She also couldn't have known how she had made my day.

Blogging can be a tricky hobby. Anyone who blogs will understand what I mean. I write because I need to write. It makes me feel better. I don't write so people will read. And yet, I want people to read. And when they don't, or when I think they don't, then I convince myself that my writing is ridiculous. "Why do I do this?" I ask myself. "Why do I feel I need to write in such a vulnerable, public way, when no one reads but me?"

And at just the moment I have convinced myself that not a single solitary soul on the planet reads my blog and I should delete the whole darned thing off the face of the blogosphere, some woman I barely know runs up to me at the pool and asks me if I am "the blog lady" as if I'm actually a real, bonafide blogger who has real, bonafide readers.

OK. So I know I have a handful of people who read my blog on a semi-irregular, halfway inconsistent basis. And I've even influenced a few others to waste a perfectly good year of their lives watching six seasons of Lost all at once.

But it's so easy to get caught up in comparing myself to the woman who boasts she grew to 1,000 readers in one year or the blah blah blah blogger who gets 562 comments every day. Comparing myself in any area of life always leads me to trouble. I'm trying to stop. Really! I am!

So today I just wanted to say "Thank you" to The Pool Lady. And to the people who now strike up conversations with me about Ugg boots. And the friend who texted me a covert photo of someone wearing Uggs with shorts at the grocery store. And the people who have e-mailed me with the grammatical errors that annoy them most. Those things really mean a lot to me.

So, today, I have a question. I would love to learn more about anyone who might be reading today.

Would you leave me a comment with your name, your blog address (if you have one) and the answer to this question: "Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?"

I don't have any reason for asking this question other than the fact that I love to know these things about people. Do you find that you are energized by being around people or by being alone? (Just for fun, you also can tell me if you find yourself comparing yourself to others in any ridiculous, unhealthy ways. =] )

If you haven't left a comment before, just look for the little radio button that says "Name/URL." You can fill in your first name and leave your comment. You don't need to have a Blogger account or web site. Thanks!

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Well, Hello!

Hello, Dear Blog,

I've missed you!

I don't think I've ever gone this long before without blogging. Thank you to those of you who have e-mailed to ask if I am still living. I know it probably seems that I was so devastated by the end of Lost that I just gave up on life all together.

Actually, that is far from the truth. I have been busier than ever these past few weeks, and I just haven't been able to take a break long enough to update my blog.

We finished school. We've been running around from parks to bike paths to swimming pools. And. I got a job.

I accepted a part-time position as the communication director for my church. I actually get paid to blog, go on Facebook, create visuals, update our web site and just generally "communicate". I have been spending most of my spare moments getting our brand new web site ready to launch in about a week.

I feel so blessed to be able to use my gifts and all of the things I naturally love to do to serve God and spread the message of our church. Plus, I get to work from home. And they pay me. I know. Crazy.

So, that's where I've been. I will pass along the link when the web site is complete.

Hopefully, I will get back in my blogging rhythm again soon. I've missed all of you!

So, what's everyone else been up to the past few weeks?

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And the other reason...

we like diapers.com?

The diapers come in a really big box.

The kids spent more than an hour this afternoon in the basement making a new spaceship. Is anything more fun for a child than a big empty box?

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Have you heard about...?

Most people who know me in real life have heard me talk at one time or another about my favorite toys (Discovery Toys), my favorite coffee maker (Keurig) and my favorite computer (my iMac). That's because when I love a product, I can't help but tell everyone about it.

So, it seems interesting to me that the latest trend in marketing focuses on paying people to tell others about products or services. I have started using three web sites lately that use this type of marketing, and so far, I'm a fan. In fact, I would want to tell people about them even if I DIDN'T get anything in return.

ALICE

The first one is alice.com. If you've ever watched The Brady Bunch, I'm sure you've wished you had your own Alice to take care of everything around the house.

With six people in our family, I need an Alice just to help me push my shopping cart through the grocery store. I usually have to get that mongo cart with the park bench at the back. I put two kids on the bench, another one in the baby carrier in the cart and I often have another one hanging off the side pretending he's a firefighter.

By the time I get that Mama loaded with groceries, I can barely push it. And it never fails, I get to the end of my shopping trip and remember I need paper towels and toilet paper. Too bad. No more room.

This is where Alice comes in. Alice is an online store, sort of like Peapod. However, she specializes in non-perishable items like cleaning supplies and paper products. She also carries pantry items like coffee and tea, make-up and baby care items.

I just used her for the first time, and I liked the fact that she reminded me of all the possible things I might need. I could compare prices and brands easily, and she even included coupons for some of my purchases. She remembers what I ordered and will remind me when she thinks I'm about to run out of garbage bags or anything else on my list.

And shipping is always free, so I don't have to worry about toting all that stuff out to my car. It will just show up on my door step in two days.

If YOU would like to try Alice, just use my referral link and I will get a discount on my next order. If you like it, you can pass along your referral code and get future discounts, as well.

DIAPERS

I've also been using diapers.com since Baby #4 was born. I like diapers.com because I can buy the super deluxe, humongous box of diapers, which gives me the best price. I usually can't find the really big boxes in the grocery store.

The price is comparable to shopping at a large warehouse store, like Sam's or Costco. However, you SAVE even more money when you use a referral code.

If you use my code at check-out, EMIL9445, you will save $10 on your first order and get a $5 credit toward your second order. When you use my code, I also get $10 off my next order. Once you have ordered, you will get your own referral code you can pass on to others.

SWAGBUCKS

I first heard about swagbucks.com around Christmastime. This is a search engine that pays you to search the Internet.

Another blogger wrote a post about how she earned so many swagbucks, she was able to pay for all of her Christmas shopping with the money she earned. I was curious, but I didn't feel like looking into it. This week, she posted that she had earned enough swagbucks to buy her family a brand new iMac! OK... it couldn't hurt to give it a try!

If you decide to use it, download the swagbucks toolbar and make it your home page. You will start racking up points, just for searching the Internet. You get lots of bonus points if you refer someone to the web site.

If you want to try it, please use my referral link. After you get started, you will get your own referral code to pass on to your friends.

So... what do you think? Have you earned money this way? Do you like this type of marketing or does it bother you?

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My real-life imaginary friend

When I started homeschooling last fall, I started reading the blog of another homeschool mom in the area. She had invited homeschoolers to read her blog on a Yahoo! newsgroup I had joined.

At that time, I was entering my third trimester, and I discovered this woman, a mom of four, also was in her third trimester of pregnancy. I had been feeling desperately out of place in a world of 20-something pregnant women, and was relieved to figure out we were about the same age. When I found out her scheduled C-section was almost exactly one month before mine, it gave me a sense of comfort to read about someone's life that was so similar to mine.

So, I left a comment on her blog, something like this:

"Hello. You don't know me, but I'm your new best friend. Would you like to start meeting me for playdates and then maybe we could go for coffee and if that works out perhaps our families could vacation together. Oh, and do you like camping, because we really like camping, and since our babies are going to be only one month apart perhaps they could become best friends, too, and they could grow up together and then they could go to some kind of homeschool prom together and eventually get married, but I do need to warn you that as the mother of the bride I get to pick out my dress BEFORE YOU!"

OK. I didn't really write that. But I did write something mentioning our similarities, and she was nice enough to stop by my blog. Before long, we were starting to become imaginary blogging friends.

Many times, my husband would see me laughing at my computer and ask me what was up. "Oh, it's nothing... just that pregnant homeschool lady I don't know."

I could instantly relate to her insomnia during pregnancy, her demented nesting, her attempts at keeping the kids happy while feeling like a beached whale. I was excited to hear the news of her son's birth, and loved updates on his weight gain and milestones. I was even a teeny bit worried when she went on vacation without telling me and didn't update her blog for more than a week!

She learned things about me that even some of my non-blog-reading family members don't know because I tend to talk about strange things on my blog that I don't mention in real life. You know... stuff like my intimidation with my imaginary Wii personal trainer, my adventures in preschool and my struggles with wanting to feel successful.

We eventually figured out through our blogs that we have some mutual friends. Then, we learned we only live a few miles from each other. Eventually, we even became friends on Facebook, and you know what a HUGE step that is when you go from being mere blogging buddies to actual FACEBOOK friends!

Well, today, my imaginary friend posted on Facebook in her hilarious way that it would be "criminal" to stay inside today, one of the first 60-degree sunny days of the year. She was inviting everyone to an impromptu playdate at the park.

Well, hmmm. Maybe we should go?

I have to admit, I did have that momentary question of whether I was about to ruin a perfectly good imaginary friendship by meeting her in real life.

Who knows? She could turn out to be one of those homeschooling moms with tons of kids who is still having babies in her 40s and who is self-absorbed enough to actually write a blog about her life. Oh, wait... so just like me??

I told the kids to get ready to go to the park because we were going to meet some friends.

"But who mom?"

"Oh, it's just a friend of mine who I've never met. Someone from my blog."

The funny thing is, they have heard so much about my blog friends that they didn't even seem to think that statement was really that strange.

It was really fun to meet my imaginary friend in real life, and I don't think I scared her too much. In fact, I think she even gets my sarcastic sense of humor enough to read an entire blog post about our pretend friendship and laugh about it.

I'm so glad we got to meet! Oh, and don't forget to Facebook me next time you're heading to the park!



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Verification, moderation or spam, aka, the crazy word thing

A few of you fabulous readers have asked me why you no longer have to type in that crazy, impossible nonsense word before you can leave a comment. I actually was going to write this post when I removed it, but I thought, "Oh, no one really cares about that!"

But it turns out you DO care!

Here's the deal:

A lot of blogs won't allow people to leave "Anonymous" comments. One reason is that it allows people to say mean things without signing their name. I happen to love my anonymous commenters and haven't had that problem (yet).

The other reason is that it allows spam in the comments, just like you get spam in e-mail. On Blogger, you have three choices to keep out spam:

Word verification:

Allow Anonymous comments, but prevent spam by requiring people to do the word verification. The downside is, many people dislike typing in the crazy words so much that they won't leave a comment at all if they have to do that.

Comment moderation:

Bloggers can remove the word verification, but approve all of the comments before they are published. This allows the blog author to delete spam before it is published. But the downside is that commenters have to wait to see if their comment was approved and published, and the blogger has to constantly check for comments.

No Anonymous comments:

Blocking Anonymous comments would keep out the spam and wouldn't require the word verification. But then all of my nice Anonymous commenters would have to go through the extra step of creating a Blogger account, which can be a pain, too.

Nothing:

So, I decided to go with none of the above. I've just been deleting the spam when it comes through (after it's published). So, if you see an ad for something weird in my comments, just ignore it. It's the price we all have to pay to avoid typing in those annoying letters!

If the spam gets out of control, I'll have to go back to either word verification or asking everyone to register on Blogger. I hope this will work though!

**
Did I miss something? If you are a blogger, what do you think about word verification vs. comment moderation?






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Be part of the community

The theme today at Works for Me Wednesday is "blogging tips". I love reading web sites with blogging tips, so I definitely will be checking out all of the links on this one.

I still have a lot to learn about blogging, but I do have a tip to share.

Back in my previous life, I was a newspaper reporter, so I wrote words for a living. That was back in the dark ages, when people preferred to have a newspaper dropped off on their front porch so they could read it while drinking their morning coffee.

It was a simple process: I wrote words. My editor read them. They were published in the paper. People read them. Once in a while, people would write a letter to the newspaper about something I had written.

I developed relationships with lots of sources. But I didn't really develop relationships with my readers, unless they were enthusiastic enough about something I had written to call or write to me.

And that is how blogging is completely different from the way the written word was published in the past. Blogging is a two-way relationship. It is so much more than just writing and expecting the world to read because you have the most interesting and thought-provoking words on the planet. Sending words out into cyberspace without interacting with readers is kind of like dominating the conversation at a dinner party without listening to what anyone else has to say.

When people comment on my blog, I try my best to interact with them. (And I KNOW I'm not perfect, but I do try!) If they have a blog, I pay a visit to their blog to read what they have to say. For those who don't have a blog, I try to respond to comments either through my comments section or by sending a personal e-mail, especially if the person asks a question.

If you do comment on blogs, I highly recommend that you enable readers to click on your profile, so they can read your blog. Also, set the preferences on your comments to include your e-mail address for the blogger so she can respond to your comment. If you don't want to do that, then subscribe to the comments. These are the only three ways the blogger is able to interact with a commenter.

This interaction goes both ways. I read lots of blogs and if something strikes me, I take a minute to leave a comment. That is the only way another blogger knows that you were there. Leaving comments or following other bloggers is a good way to encourage someone else. But it's also a way to leave a little "calling card" that can generate traffic back to your blog.

I'm not trying to say you should leave millions of comments just to serve yourself, but if you don't leave comments, it's impossible for other bloggers to even know you exist!

For more tips on blogging, visit Works for Me Wednesday at We Are THAT Family.

What do you think? What is your #1 blogging tip?

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Click on over...

Hey there to all my friends who read everydayMOM in a reader or via e-mail. Click on over to see some changes on my blog.

I updated the colors to match the new colors of my 2010 everydayMOM planner.


How do you like the everydayMOM and the everydayKids as a cartoon? I think we're pretty funny.

And introducing... CapableDad... Due to popular demand, I'm trying to include more photos of the handsome, athletic, smart, loving, kind and very CAPABLE leader of our family.

Yes, someday, I will get my blog professionally designed. Until then, you will just have to endure my frequent tweaks to the layout.

Let me know what you think because if you don't comment I just might assume you hate it and think I'm a big dork and then I will stay up all night trying to change it again and then you will wonder why I didn't keep the cartoon family and finally you'll say something to me and I'll admit that is why I changed it and THEN you will tell me that you loved it but you just didn't leave a comment. And we wouldn't want THAT to happen, would we?!?

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No comment

A few months ago, I stumbled upon a new blog I thought was really cool. The writer was starting to home school her kids for the first time.

"Ahhh, this woman is creative and has a great plan," I thought. "I can really relate to her."

It turns out we had sooooo much in common.

I mean, she had published several books, and I had thought about writing a book.

She has like 2,000 subscribers and I have, well... I have some.

She lives in a house in a place with a beautiful climate and awesome scenery. And I live in a house.

With all the common traits we share, we were destined to become the best of bloggy friends. I started reading her faithfully. I commented on every post. I subscribed. I was devoted to our relationship.

But, alas. As often seems to happen in this big bloggy world, I never heard from her. No visits. No page views. No comments. Nothing.

"I'm sure she's just busy," I told myself. "No big deal."

But then she did it.

She wrote a post asking each of her readers to post a comment to introduce themselves.

"I HAVE BEEN COMMENTING FOR MONTHS!" I thought in my completely mature, non-sixth graderish, not-the-least-bit-hormonal, I-have-an-actual-life way. "If she wanted to know who I am, she could have clicked on my profile a long time ago. No way am I going to respond to her request."

So, I dumped her. We're through. That's it.

No comment.

(I'm sure I really showed her a thing or two.)

Just by chance, there seemed to be a trend going around the blogsphere that week. Everywhere I turned, writers were asking their readers to post a comment with their basic info: Name, city and sometimes even age.

I have done the same thing several times. And I'm sure I've annoyed a few people who were sitting at home, lashing out at me with the same passive-aggressive fervor I unleashed on my bloggy " new best friend" who had no clue I even existed.

But it made me really start thinking about why people leave comments.

The main reason I leave comments is to spread some love. I know. Plain and simple. But if people take the time to visit me, I try to reciprocate. (And I know I don't always do a good job, but I do try!)

For those bloggers I know and like in real life, I leave comments so they don't feel like they are just talking to thin air. If they are taking that time to express themselves, I feel I should take a second just to say, "I'm listening." (Again, no one has time to do this all the time, but I try when I can.)

And, of course, I comment because people write things that stir something up in me... an emotion, a thought or a memory. Sometimes people write about a topic about which I feel very strongly, and I can't resist leaving a comment.

I always think it's interesting to see what generates the most comments. It's usually what I least expect. Shoes seem to be popular, while life and death... well, I think sometimes we let things sink in but don't have the words to comment.

I know that MOST people don't comment. Lots of people have visited my blog on a regular basis, but have never left a comment. Knowing that, I feel good when even one or two people respond with a nice word or reaction to what I've written.

All of this makes me wonder, what does it for you? Why do you comment? Or why DON'T you comment?

And when you comment do you have an expectation that you will get a response? Do you like to hear from that person by e-mail or in the comments section?

I want to be more caring toward the people who are so nice to comment. I know you don't have to, so I don't want to take you for granted.

Oh, and by the way... it's perfectly fine if you just want to say:

"No comment."

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In a relationship with?

I remember back in grade school when kids wanted someone to be their "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", we had a very specific set of rules that must be followed.

First, write a note asking the person to "go with you".

Second, ask your best friend to deliver the note.

Third, wait patiently for answer to be returned on same piece of paper. Yes or no?

Once this relationship had been established, it meant that you would occasionally talk to that person at school. You also would work extra hard to catch that person in a recess game of "girls catch the boys" or vice versa.

By about fifth grade, one might even make a prank call to the other's house. No caller ID then, so prank calling was not only possible, but one of the most enjoyable activities during a playdate with friends.

When the relationship was over, another note was delivered with the message: "I quit you."

As we moved on to middle school and then high school, the terminology changed. We also started speaking in person to the object of one's affection. We started saying that people were "going out" or "dating" and later that they "broke up".

If it wasn't humiliating enough to receive the "I quit you" note or the phone call to deliver the news of a break-up, I'm not sure how today's teens can handle the public announcement of their relational status online.

I have some of the most awesome teens in my life. But I was intrigued... um... surprised... um... maybe just feeling really old... this week to see that a couple of them had updated their Facebook status to say they are now "in a relationship with _____". Eek! Of course, Facebook makes the announcement for the world to see once they have updated their profile.

I'm too scared to ask them how this whole thing works. (And I know that reading my blog is WAY too old-fashioned for them.) But I'm so curious.

Are they immediately "in a relationship with" someone after the first date? Or do they send each other flair for a while? Maybe they say things like, "Oh, she and I just comment on each other's status. It's not serious."

What happens when they are no longer "in relationship with"? Do they immediately change their profile to make it clear to all of their friends? Will they defriend their ex- on Facebook right away. Or do they hang on to lurk?

Oh my. And the really scary part is that this whole world will have changed even more by the time my kids are old enough to be "in a relationship with" someone. Hand-written notes are sounding so appealing to me right now.

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Friends, hidden friends, de-friending and the wonderful world of Facebook

A friend of mine recently wrote a blog post about Facebook. She had a bad experience with the social networking site and decided to cancel her account, much to the surprise of her 354 "friends". I have been thinking about her post for a few days and decided to write my own.

It's kind of funny this is actually the person who invited me to join Facebook, more than a year ago. I thought the request was kind of strange, to be honest. Why would I want to do that?

Facebook is persistent. It doesn't give up, even when real people do. So, it sent me one of its automated friendship requests, and in a weak moment, I gave in and joined.

Since then, I developed a love-hate relationship with Facebook that now has just evolved into an acceptance of it as part of my life.

At first, I found Facebook annoying and yet, oddly addictive. Why would I want to know that a friend I haven't seen in 10 years is making a cup of coffee at this very moment? And why do people who barely speak to me in real life want to be my online friends? Do I really care what 80s TV mom they most resemble?

As the weeks went by, I started to gain more Facebook friends, as is inevitable. It seemed that some people were just trying to increase their "friend count" by asking me, someone who sold them Discovery Toys two years ago, to be their FB friend.

I became more comfortable rejecting friendship requests of people if I couldn't remember who they were, had never talked to them in real life, or simply didn't want to communicate with them.

But as my friendship count increased, I also was pleasantly surprised by a few things.

I was learning about exciting news. Friends from high school were getting married. And having babies. My nieces and nephews in their teens had really funny or encouraging things to say. Long-lost friends wanted to get together after years of not seeing each other.

I could view photos of people I hadn't seen in years. I enjoyed seeing photos and reading updates of friends who live in the same town as I do, but with whom I had lost touch.

I also realized that more and more people in my life were suffering serious hardships. Life-threatening diseases. Family members with terminal illnesses. Challenging pregnancies. I wouldn't have had access to frequent updates and prayer requests, if it weren't for Facebook.

I went through some tough days myself and was encouraged by the quick responses of my Facebook friends.

Of course, we all run into the danger of letting Facebook and other sources of social networking take over the real relationships with flesh-and-blood people we need in our lives. I will admit that this has always been a challenge for me, with or without Facebook.

I prefer written communication over talking on the phone. Even back in grade school, I loved to write notes and letters and send postcards. With or without social networking sites, I have to make a deliberate effort to communicate like a normal adult by picking up the phone. And I've learned to do so!

I have finally accepted Facebook as simply an extension of my regular relationships. I'm thankful that I have been able to get to know people better through this source of communication. I have been able to keep in touch with people almost daily, when normally I might only see them a few times a year.

When I see how the younger people in my life use it, it also makes me realize that this is how younger generations primarily communicate. If I don't join in, they will continue to do what they are going to do. I will be the one who will miss out on possibly improving my relationship with them.

I think Facebook and I have sort of reached an agreement with each other. I rarely, if ever, take a Facebook quiz, and I don't play any of the games, only because I'm sure I would quickly become an addict! I also have my boundaries about who I will "friend".

On the other hand, Facebook often makes me laugh, cry or smile. If someone is driving me crazy, I can choose to "hide" them, and I'm sure many people have hidden me. Facebook and I are getting along pretty well these days.

What do you think? Have you purposely avoided Facebook and other types of social networking? Are you an addict? Or a reluctant user? I would love to hear your thoughts.

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Top 10 reasons I read blogs

I remember the first time I heard about blogging a few years ago. My reaction was: "WHY would ANYONE want to publish their journal online, for EVERYONE to READ?!?!"

Then, a couple of years ago, I started hearing various friends talk about their blogs, and I got curious about this whole world of which I had no part. It's been almost a year now since I started writing here on a regular basis (and actually told anyone my blog existed) and blogging is now a part of my day-to-day existence.

Like lots of other mommy bloggers, I sometimes get in conversations about what makes bloggers successful. How do they attract readers? And how do they keep them?

A lot of people really believe that you have to find a niche if you want to develop a readership. I like to believe that content is king. The blogs that provide quality content and update it consistently will eventually find readers.

I decided to think about it in a different way. Why do I take the time to read about other people's lives? So, I made a list.

Here are my Top 10 reasons that I read blogs:

1. Friends. My first stop in BloggyLand is to visit my friends and find out what they have been up to. I've listed many of them in the section on the left called, "The Bloggy People I Really Know". While it's fun to talk to friends in real life, I find that people express things differently in a written format. I know I do!

2. People going through extreme life challenges. Some of my friends have had some unbelievable trials, like Tyson, Terra and Gretta. Reading their blogs is a good way to know how I can pray for them and also get the latest updates.

3. Bloggers I don't know in real life, but with whom I can relate. Jane Anne has a son with a severe peanut allergy. Jenny loves to ride her bike. Missy has four kids under the age of 6, plus she's hilarious! I don't know any of these people, but they often make me smile because I can connect with their lives.

4. People with good ideas. Kristen has some great do-it-yourself tips, and her Works For Me Wednesday is always full of great links! Bake at 350 gives some amazing ideas for making cute cookies for every occassion.

5. Bloggers that write about the business of blogging or design or photography or something along those lines. I especially like CopyBlogger, Musings of a Housewife (writes about real life, as well as blogging and design), Chatting at the Sky (inspirational, plus great photography) and Life with My 3 Boybarians (writes about blogging, photography and homeschooling).

6. Writers who make me laugh. I enjoy reading Big Mama and Boo Mama because they usually make me smile. However, I would like to add here, that it's OK to be serious. When people are funny day after day, it makes me wonder if their life is really so perfect? I don't mind to hear about the difficult times, too! That way I don't feel so bad that other people's lives are so darned hilarious!

7. Writers who can really write. If you haven't read Antique Mommy, you have to check her out. She has a great way with words.

8. My addiction. LOST. Need I say more?

9. And most importantly, blogs that inspire me to be a better person than I am today. Lysa TerKeurst is great at doing that in a way that still is fun to read.

10. And then there's everydayMOM because, you know, I crack myself up. (And I couldn't think of a No. 10.)

So what blogs do YOU like to read and WHY?! I really want to know! I would love to check out your suggestions!

I'm linking up with another blogger on my fun list, Oh Amanda, and her Top 10 Tuesday. Check her out for some other great Top 10 lists today!

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so much to say...

You might be assuming right now that the reason I haven't updated my blog in, oh, about 32 hours is because either a.) I have nothing to write about, or b.) we selected our vacation destination and have left town.

The real answer is c.) I have so darned MANY topics swirling around in my brain I can't decide which one to write about first.

I mean, I've been dying to report to you all about how my affiliation with BlogHer has far exceeded my expectations. I just need to read through my 11-page contract to determine if it's OK to mention that I have already made way more than the 32 cents a weeks I was projecting.

I also want to tell you about the staring contests that we have here on a daily basis and why they are of serious importance in our household. In fact, this might have to be my next post.

Then, there's my effort to go through this cluttered abode we lovingly call home and throw away huge bags of garbage on a daily basis. I am hoping that I will uncover an extra bedroom I did not know existed. At the least, I have to find a spot somewhere in our three-bedroom house for one more child.

Oh, and then there's the space I must uncover for the most unbelievable homeschooling hotspot in northern Illinois. (Please keep in mind that I have a lot of experience in direct sales. And rule No. 1 is that when someone asks how your business is going, you reply, "Unbelievable!" because good or bad, that answer is always true. So, there you go. Now, you also are ready for a career in direct sales.)

And I can't even believe that I haven't mentioned yet the elaborate techniques I have developed to avoid being hit in the head by the birds that scream at me during my morning walks. They can taunt me, but I won't be swayed. I am going to keep walking until my joints start to separate and I can't make it more than a quarter mile without a bathroom break.

Plus I have book reviews, give-aways and travel updates to reveal.

So, let me ask you, dear bloggy people, which of these UNBELIEVABLE topics do you think I should address first? Or maybe you have an issue of your own you would like to discuss? Please let me know, because, really, it's not all about me here.

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not as cute as i used to be

Dear Bloggy Readers,

I have to apologize for the decline in cuteness on my blog today. I'm also a bit fatter than I used to be. And then I added horizontal stripes on both sides. That is certainly not helping to slim the look of my expanding blog.

I'm trying to come up with a good explanation.

Basically, I can't hide it. I decided to run that ad you see on the side. Why? I figured if someone wants to pay me to do what I'm doing anyway that I should at least give it a try and see what happens. (Please. Please. Don't hate me and leave forever. Please?!?)

So, I had to do some re-arranging to make room. I miss my old layout, so I'm sure this will only be one in a series of re-designs before it's done.

Back to the ad thing. I noticed all the cool bloggers were doing it, and I've had a life-long struggle with wanting to be part of the in crowd. So, a few months ago I clicked on the BlogHer site to see how the whole thing worked. They said they weren't accepting new applicants to run ads, but they would put me on a waiting list. (Whew! That made that an easy decision.)

Well, last week, they sent me an e-mail saying they had moved me off the waiting list and onto the list of real live bloggers who run ads on their sites.

At first I thought it was a hoax because they used the word "wonderful" to describe me. But since my love language is words of affirmation, I wrote back and said I would run as many ads as they wanted as long as they kept sending me compliments. (I'm quite positive I'm the ONLY blogger in the world who has ever received such a wonderful e-mail personally signed, "the BlogHer Ad Team").

The good thing is that their ads aren't triggered by keywords in one's posts. So, at least I won't be tempted to give my children the pseudonyms "Dorito", "iPhone", and "Coke" to get more desirable ads to pop up. Oh, you laugh. But these are just the type of ridiculous thoughts that keep me awake at night.

And besides, I have a real business plan here. I'm thinking I could probably earn at least 32 cents a week with that ad from all the traffic I get here on a daily basis. And by the end of the year, that comes up to $16.64.

Hey, we could probably go out for ice cream with that kind of income! And these days... a little ice cream is just what I need to add to my real-life expanding waist line.

what's wrong with this picture?

April 6, 2009.

The day after Spring Break.

That's pretty much all I can say about that.

I know you are all probably dying to know why tens and sometimes dozens and occasionally twenties of people have been coming by the everydayMOM blog lately. Well, my stellar, mind-blowing, information-packed LOST reviews help, especially since I secretly submit those words to the search engines to try to improve my listing.

And you can't believe the number of people who still want to know about the dangers of paraffin wax. This seems to be an especially hot topic in the UK, as well as certain parts of China, according to my site stats.

But the No. 1 search phrase that has been bringing people here lately is "examples of chiastic structure". For those of you in my Beth Moore study, you know that one of our assignments recently was to give an example of chiastic structure. And, Nice Readers, I want to give people the benefit of the doubt, but it seems that dozens of people are looking for a little help with answering their Bible study question. (I WILL NOT imply they are cheating. That would just be harsh.)

Unfortunately, they won't be getting a very good example of chiastic structure from the one I wrote. However, I think it will work for the sweet soul who used the search phrase: "example of chaotic structure."

And that officially concludes this post void of any meaningful information.

I'm now taking requests for real topics to post about this week. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to leave them in the comments section. Or if you have any random thoughts of your own, I'd love to hear them.

Happy Spring!

this and that

This post really has me thinking about a friend today. (I need to stop crying now!)

This is a GREAT story! Wouldn't it be great to do something like that??

This is sooooo cute.

But then there's this, which just might be the cutest thing ever!